Questions Bouncing In My Head Today

Good morning people. How are you doing?

I have a few questions bouncing in my head today.

1. Is marriage a conditional or unconditional covenant? I'll appreciate scriptures that support whatever option you're taking.

2. If marriage is a conditional covenant, is a party obligated to keep their end if the other party does not honour their end? Afterall, whenever Israel sinned and their cup was full, they would be exiled.

3. If marriage is an unconditional covenant because it is an allegory between Christ and His church, how do we explain the fact that Jesus only reckons with those that keep His word and not those that claim to be saved yet their fruits say something else?

I'm thinking that the vow we take on the wedding day mark the beginning of the covenant just as saying the prayer of salvation marks the beginning of your life as a believer. The continuation of the journey is very dependent on keeping the terms and conditions of the covenant. Of course, there are deviations here and there that are breaches but not clear violations of the vow that was taken.

In the event that a sane person, who is aware that he/she is in a covenant with his/her spouse chooses, for whatever reason, to clearly and directly violate the vow he/she made before God and (usually) many witnesses; the covenant is ALREADY broken, in my opinion.

It is clearly the perogative of the other spouse to decide to enter into ANOTHER covenant with the covenant-breaker. That's why being repentant IF one allows themselves to be overtaken by sin and break the covenant is KEY.

In my opinion, what constitutes CLEAR violations include

1. ADULTERY

2. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

3. ABUSE OF ANY KIND

4. ABANDONMENT

 

To break one's part of the covenant and then turn around to ask the other party to uphold their own end is a clear case of manipulation, which indicates unrepentance in my opinion. It is analogous to living as one pleases and then trying to hold God to His word.

The perogative of mercy lies with the offended spouse. I think those that are priviledged to minister to such wounded souls need to have this at the back of their minds when counselling such people. Putting the responsibility of marital restoration and taking away the perogative of mercy away from these people with "God hates divorce" is cruel.

 

I believe marriages where a partner has broken their vows can be restored. I believe there is a need for a renewal of vows when the person that broke the vows comes to a place of repentance and the hurt spouse is in a place where it doesn't hurt so bad anymore.

 

Anyone priviledged to be involved in such efforts should realise and take the following steps:

 

1. Restoration takes time.

2. There is a need for patience and a safe place to vent for the hurt spouse. Also remember that hurting people hurt others, so you'll need to exercise a little more patience. However, if they are getting to the point of verbal/emotional/physical abuse, there is a need for caution. Ask the Lord to lead YOU through this journey.

3. Spend a lot of time praying with and for them. The journey you're on is a spiritual journey so dealing with this just from your head and mind will have limited effects. Also, as you pray, the Lord will show you areas to tackle.

4. You need to GENTLY introduce the idea of restoration to such a person. Slamming them with Biblical verses and pointing accusing fingers at how their shortcomings (I know they'll have a few). Please resist the temptation to slam it on them as early as possible. Give them time to vent and take some time to earn their trust. Then and ONLY THEN can you begin to gently share scriptures in a non-judgmental way that show them areas they need to let the Holy Spirit do His work. If they are not saved, you should share the gospel with them. Please avoid suggesting that they are having marital issues because they are unbelievers. That is actually a lie - believers also have marital issues.

 

To Be Continued

 

Please extend God's mercy and love to a hurting soul today.