I was priviledged to be part of a discussion yesterday
that had at its focus how the response of a cheated spouse saved the marriage.
I am pleased to hear of restored marriages all the time. I find it interesting
that all the stories I've heard of have a cheating husband and a cheated wife.
It'll be refreshing, in my opinion, to hear more stories of restored marriages
where there was a cheating wife and a cheated husband.
My views about adultery remain unchanged. It is a sin
against God and God promised to judge the adulterer and the whoremonger
(Hebrews 13:4).
Let's take a look at Malachi 2: 13-15
"And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of
worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want
from God. Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you
spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows,
broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. God, not
you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage.
And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the
spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse." #TheEnd I'm
quite tired of the overt and covert blames thrown at the cheated spouse. The
choice to stay or walk away from it all is theirs; the Bible PERMITS divorce in
this instance. The person that wrecked the marriage (if the cheated spouse
chooses to walk away) is the spouse that cheated. Adultery involves a lot of
premeditated steps so it is very hard to understand how it could have been a
'mistake' as some choose to call it.
Concerning the strange woman angle usually used to
justify adultery, I have a few things to say. We understand from the book of
Proverbs that WISDOM and DISCRETION will preserve a man from the strange woman.
The man that ended up with the strange woman was already travelling on the path
of destruction.
I believe 1 Cor 7: 12-14 addresses the case of the person
married to an unbelieving spouse who chooses to, among other things, commit
adultery. If the unbelieving spouse chooses to remain, you cannot leave. This
is the risk anyone who chooses to marry an unbeliever is taking. You are
admonished to hold on to him/her and remain godly. So, my advice to singles is
to avoid marrying an unbeliever. Also, the adultery is the least of the
problems. The key issue is that you are married to someone that is alienated
from God. Your (un)happiness doesn't count as much as the lost soul you're living
with sir/ma. May the Lord continue to help us remain steadfast and true to His
name (If you're dealing with abuse as well, I'll recommend you find a place of
safety, though, and pray for your spouse's salvation from there).
If the unbelieving spouse chooses to walk out of the
marriage, I believe 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 is the scripture that addresses this.
"On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks
out, you’ve got to let him or her go. You don’t have to hold on desperately.
God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never
know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to
you but to God. You never know, husband: The way you handle this might bring
your wife not only back to you but to God."
If you claim to be a believer, the scriptures that apply
to you as it pertains to marriage are found in Colossians 3: 15-19, Ephesians
5: , 1 Peter 3:1-7
Colossians 3: 15-19
Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other,
in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And
cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the
house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another
using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every
detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the
Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way. Wives, understand
and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master.
Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.
Ephesians 5: 21-33
Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one
another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your
support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ
does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church
submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit
to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as
Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love
makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says
is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk,
radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re
really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. No one
abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ
treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man
leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become
“one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all.
What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a
good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving
her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
1 Peter 3: 1-7
The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your
husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as
they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy
beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the
jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. Cultivate
inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of
old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their
husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my
dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious
and unintimidated. The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your
wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages.
But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as
equals so your prayers don’t run aground.
You have to decide if you are a believer or an unbeliever
and act accordingly. As a believer, you have been given all that you require to
lead a godly life (1 Peter 1:3). If you have been overtaken by the sin of
adultery or any other sin that so easily besets us, there is room for
repentance. Repent and be converted. I'll recommend that you spend some time
with Psalm 51. There is room for you at the cross. 1 John 1:10 tells us that if
we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse
us from all unrighteousness. Please feel free to send a message to womentellingafricanstories@gmail.com so
we can walk through this journey back 'home' together.
If you have not yet accepted Christ as your Lord and
Saviour, this is an 'altar call' for you. Please send a message to womentellingafricanstories@gmail.com and
we can walk this road together.
If you are the cheated spouse in this case, please rest
in the Lord. He will perfect all that concerns you, in Jesus' Name. I'll put up
a few posts that are just for you as soon as I can. God will always defend the
marriage covenant. I hope you're saved yourself. If not, please send a
message to womentellingafricanstories@gmail.com so we can address that first.
No comments:
Post a Comment