Tuesday, April 14, 2015

You Are The Parent

Hello everyone. There is this cartoon/rhyme on TV that I've been thinking about for a while now. It's titled "Five Little Monkeys".

In a nutshell, it's about 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, falling down and hurting themselves. What gets to me is that all Mummy does about it is to wait for each little monkey to fall and hurt themselves then she is quick to use her airtime to call the doctor, spend whatever she has to spend to pay the doctor for his efforts and go limb till another monkey hurts itself. Please don't even get me started on the loud silence about "Daddy" (except he is dead).

 

Unfortunately, it's not only the Mummy (and absent Daddy) of the Five Little Monkeys that is defaulting in her role as a parent. I understand the need to make "ends meet". However, I don't believe we should sacrifice our children's safety and well-being on the altar of material and financial prosperity, though.

Someone noted that sometimes, parents prefer to chat and ping than to spend time with their kids. Some of us have out-sourced our parenting roles to the TV! I'll like to talk a bit about hiring helps as this is a trending topic.

 

- First, you need to confirm if this is the best option for your family. If you can find any other workable arrangement, please explore those options instead.

 

- If you have to hire a help, then please exercise due dilligence in verifying and getting credible guarantors for such helps. Please don't compromise quality on the altar of price. Be VERY sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in this crucial assignment. If either you or your spouse doesn't feel comfortable in your spirits, hold on. Fast and pray, make sure you are both in agreement before you proceed. If you're a single parent, still fast and pray. Involve a trusted family member or friend in the process.

 

- Please try to maintain a good rapport with your neighbours, as much as is humanly possible. They may very well be your last line of defence in the evil day. Don't be like the people of Laish that had no one to help them in the day of trouble. Be kind to those not in your 'class' - your driver, your gateman, the lady who owns a shop in your neighbourhood, the stay-at-home mum, artisans etc. Many times, these people are around to keep watch when you are not around and may be the ones to help you in the evil day. I know that "safety is of the Lord" still God can use anyone and anything to help you in the day of trouble.

 

- Be kind in your dealing with your househelp. Remember that you are leaving your child(ren) in their care for a sizeable period of the day. Treat them as human beings who deserve care. Do something nice for them once in a while that is outside their pay package. Extend the love of Christ to them. You could very well be the only true believer they'll ever know. While this does not guarantee that they'll be good helps; you'll be able to stand before God with a clear conscience as it pertains to their matter.

 

- If you keep valuables at home, please get a safe or something really secure to keep them. You should also keep your valuable documents in a safe place.

 

- Realise that there's a reason why they are called "HELPS". They are not there to take over your parental duty but to HELP. Be careful about what roles you assign to them and be careful not to become TOTALLY dependent on them. I know "me-time" and "bonding time" with your partner are essential but please maintain a balance.

 

- Teach your kids to respect your helps. I heard of a 4 year old boy who told his uncle's help to wash his (the 4 year old boy) plate because it is the job she is being paid to do. I heard of another boy that slapped the househelp and his parents did NOTHING about it. If you're raising your kids this way, YOU are destroying their future.

 

I have a special appeal to men. Please get involved in the upbringing of your children. Thankfully, your surname is their surname. Your role does not end in providing the sperm(s) to fertilize the egg(s) that produced the child(ren). Please don't leave it all to your wife/baby's mother. Many of us agree that we are Abraham's seed and heirs according to the promise. This is what God said about Abraham - " Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him." (Genesis 18: 18-19). Please play your part in bringing up your kids, THANKS.

 

I pray for the Orekoya family. I pray that light will shine at the end of the tunnel. I pray for the family that lost their valuables, may God take them to greater and higher heights. I also pray that the perpetuators of this evil will be brought to book and that the boys will come back home unharmed, in Jesus' Name.

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