A True Life Story

Good day people. How are you doing? Today I'll be sharing a true life story. Names and places have been changed to protect the identity of the people involved. I've also left out a few details for the same reason and will be unable to share without betraying Sola's confidence. I have tried to no avail to reach Gbenga for his side of the story. I haven't talked to Lolu and I'm not convinced I need to. I hope we can learn a few things from this story. You can also find the story on the Hephzibah Musings Blog.

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Gbenga and Sola were finally at home. The wedding ceremony had gone well. None of their fears had materialized. Lolu had been so helpful. He was on hand to attend to any little inconvenience.

 

While they were courting, Sola had advised Gbenga to get someone to stay with him. She was concerned about the prospect of Gbenga needing help and having no one to call on. As fate would have it, Gbenga's cousin Lolu got a job in Abuja and needed a place to stay. He naturally moved in with Gbenga.

 

As they prepared for their wedding, Lolu proved very helpful. Gbenga felt comfortable assigning some of his tasks to Lolu. He was really helpful. They agreed that Lolu would find a place of his own not later than a month after the wedding. Everything looked good. The wedding came and went with little hitches. The honeymoon story is worthy of a post of its own.

 

They quickly settled into their marriage doing what married people do. One month quickly flew by but Lolu showed no signs of actively searching for an apartment. Sure, he went on one or two searches but he did not appear to be in a hurry. He was quite helpful around the house and Sola wasn't overly eager to see him go. She got an offer from a concerned person to house Lolu. She told Gbenga about it but Gbenga turned down the offer in a not-too-polite manner. They went on.

 

One challenge Sola had with Lolu's presence in the house was that Gbenga gave her rules and restrictions because of Lolu's presence. She was expected to be covered up because of Lolu. Love-making was restricted to the bedroom. They could only make love elsewhere whenever Lolu was not around (at work, travelled, went to see a friend etc). Also, certain areas of the house were out of bounds to Sola because of Lolu. She couldn't use the visitors' toilet because there was the (unlikely) possibility of Lolu bumping into her while she was doing her business.

 

There was also the issue of Gbenga spending more time with Lolu as they both had common interests a.k.a football, lol. Lolu appeared to have more ownership of the TV remote than Sola. In a bid to keep the peace, Sola would leave Gbenga and Lolu alone and withdraw into the room. Obviously, Lolu's presence was not totally responsible for Gbenga and Sola's problems but his presence didn't seem to help matters.

 

There was also the issue of Gbenga assigning tasks to Lolu that Sola felt he should have at least asked her first. Also Gbenga would borrow money from Lolu without checking first with Sola if she could lend him the money. Gbenga is not one to borrow from anyone without paying back, particularly his wife.  Gbenga probably meant to reduce the stress on Sola but she felt like Lolu was taking her place in Gbenga's life. She raised the issue with Gbenga a few times but he waved away her concern.

 

Sola, obviously wasn't a saint and had her flaws which were quickly revealed. Gbenga also had his shortcomings and soon problems began to manifest. Details of those are probably worthy of two volumes themselves. I'll share details in different posts and leave them out of this story. They kept trying to patch things up but the gulf kept widening.

 

Lolu told Sola one day that there was talk of downsizing in his organization. He felt he was going to be affected. She asked him to send her his CV so she could help him circulate to the appropriate quarters. She also prayed with him. He still works with the same organization today.

 

Sometime later, Lolu told Sola that he was duped by someone masquerading as an agent and could not get his money back. Sola had noticed that Gbenga and Lolu had been talking about Lolu's apartment without involving her. She kept her peace and eventually the result was that Lolu was duped. She prayed with Lolu and counselled him to sow a seed and involve God in the matter.

 

Gbenga and Sola moved apartments soon. By this time, Baby One was already on the scene. Lolu seemed to avoid the baby and Gbenga didn't seem too excited to be a father. Lolu's mum had come around too and didn't seem too thrilled that Gbenga and Sola had a baby.

 

Gbenga and Lolu told Sola one Friday evening that their new apartment was too far from Lolu's place of work so he would move to a friend's place during the week and come back to their place on weekends. That was the last time Sola set eyes on Lolu. Lolu and his mother have been going about claiming that Sola is responsible for Lolu's misfortunes. The last contact she had with him was over the phone. He currently does not pick her calls and she has stopped calling, anyway.

 

There is a lot of details I can't share here without saying too much. Gbenga is currently living with Lolu's mother and does not communicate with Sola or their children. He claims Sola has been attacking him spiritually. He says he's been told by men of God in different places that Sola is after his life and stepping foot in Abuja will bring him under her influence.

 

Sola is still living in Abuja, raising their kids and learning to be a godly woman. She is trusting God to remove the veil covering Gbenga's eyes and to restore their marriage.

 

Please feel free to share suggestions, learning points and prayers. Insults are NOT welcome. Enjoy the rest of the day.