Good morning people. How are you doing?
This post is primarily for men whose wives are expecting.
Others are welcome to participate in the discussion.
So, Madam has delivered the big news - I'M PREGNANT (or
WE'RE PREGNANT, something that still stuns me, lol). She has cooked a fantastic
dinner and pulled all stops to make the big announcement! Believe me sir, your
response to this news is very crucial to how your expecting time will go.
Tip#1 - No matter what you say, please don't make the
pregnancy not seem like a big deal. Even if you weren't planning for the baby,
your first response shouldn't be something that blames HER for getting
pregnant. Your response in this fine moment will go a long way in determining
how easy or difficult the pregnancy will go.
As the days go by, you need to show your commitment by
learning as much as you can about pregnancy. Read books, check out the links
she sends to you (lol) and generally get comfortable with pregnancy talk. It's
interesting to find a man, who has had 9 months notice, who is CLUELESS about
how to care for a baby. That communicates a lack of commitment more than anything
else in the world. My dear brothers, please read up; you'll even learn some fun
things along the way.
Attending ante-natal classes and doctor's appointments
with your pregnant wife communicates commitment in ways I can't explain. You're
telling her - we're in this together. Also, you have the opportunity to ask
questions from the doctor.
Please don't place undue pressure on her with
unreasonable demands. There'll be some days when she won't have enough energy
to clean the house. You need to watch what you say about her weight, her looks,
her housekeeping skills etc. The worst thing I've ever heard a husband say to
his pregnant wife is "You're not the first woman to be pregnant".
That's a HUGE withdrawal from her love bank and at a wrong time! It is insensitive,
please.
I'm not sure how to communicate this deeply but I'll try.
During this period, she needs A LOT of emotional support from you (Ideally, she
should get emotional support from you normally). BE THERE for her. Cuddle her,
talk to her, give her backrubs at night, call her during the day just to say
"hi", sing to her, woo her, dance with her. If the pregnancy is not a
difficult one and the doctor clears you both, make love when she feels up to
it. I personally think God had this period in mind when He asked husbands to
love their wives as Christ loves the church. You'll need to put aside your own
needs to minister to her. This period is one of the times when you need to give
her special attention. You also need to be careful of choking her with too much
attention, though.
Reassure her of your love and commitment to your union.
Annoyingly, a good number of men do the exact opposite during this period.
Their actions communicate that they'll rather spend their time and resources on
other ventures. This is not what God had in mind when he brought that fantastic
woman to build a life with you. If you're neglecting your wife during this
period that she needs you the most, be rest assured that God will raise help
for her and she'll be okay. However, you MAY be digging the grave of your
marriage with your own attitude...
There is a wealth of information online that can guide
you IF you're interested. This is not the time to start looking for
someone/something to assist your wife in her wifely duties. This is the time to
prove that you meant what you said when you exchanged vows.
If you've slipped in one or more areas, there is still
hope. Repent and ask the Lord to help you. Go home to your wife, seek her
forgiveness and work things out. Take your place and don't open the door for
the enemy to take advantage. If the woman that's pregnant for you isn't your
wife, you need to first repent of fornication/adultery. You'll also need to
apply these tips cautiously.
Enjoy your day.
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