Good day people. How are you doing? I trust that the day
is going well.
I keep seeing posts about how to avoid a bad marriage,
how to ensure that you find "The One" and some even divine in order
to ensure that they marry the "right" person. The aim of all these is
to avoid a "bad" marriage because some even think a "bad"
marriage will lead one to hell...I'll like to share my thoughts on this very
important subject.
1. I believe marriage is honourable and beautiful and
it's better to travel in this journey of life with a faithful partner. However,
a "bad" marriage is not the worst thing in the whole world. History
is filled with people who had "bad" marriages yet they changed the
world.
2. I believe it is good to let God lead us in our marital
choices. However, if you're obsessed with marriage, it is not healthy. I mean
there are some people that live, eat, breathe marriage. 95% or more of their
conversations centre around relationships and marriage. There are other aspects
of life that also need your attention. Some will not make meaningful progress
because they don't want to be self-sufficient (whatever that means) before
marriage. Uhmmm
3. I am not convinced that there is only one "The
One" for each individual. I'll love to hear your thoughts on the concept
of "The One". I admit that God leads His children even in their
marital choices but I don't agree with those that claim that if you don't marry
"The One" God made for you, you are doomed for life.
4. I believe that it is more important to work on your
commitment as a person than to be obsessed with finding "The One". It
is to relate with some who only hear from God when it comes to choosing a
life-partner. God was not involved when they chose their course of study; they
didn't check with Him when they took the job offer. They didn't even think
about Him when they were relocating. Okay ooo...Kontiniu
5. I believe that marriage has seasons and it is
important to ensure that it is not our attitude that is making it feel like a
bad marriage. Sometimes, we are trying to force our spouses to be something
other than who God made them to be. It will be frustrating to keep up with the
Joneses. Work with your spouse to be all that God made him/her to be. Suddenly,
the "badness" in many marriages is gone, lol. So, he hasn't figured
out the need to help you around the house like your neighbour's husband? I
think you should let him know how you feel then make reasonable arrangements
that help make your life more bearable while you trust God to open his eyes to
see that it is actually possible to engage the baby somehow in his time-out
with the TV without causing damage.
6. I believe that someone dealing with a truly bad
marriage still has hope once they admit that their marriage has issues and they
need some form of godly 'intervention'. Whether we're talking of adultery,
domestic violence or any of their younger siblings, lol, an unwholesome
marriage is NOT the end of the world. God can still bring an eternal message
out of the challenges in your union. I'll recommend that you get godly
professional help. I think it's worth paying a bit to get the help that may
indeed prove to be a lifeline in your marriage.
I read Kathryn Kuhlman's story today and it was
encouraging to see that inspite of her divorce, God used her tremendously. That
obviously doesn't mean everyone dealing with a marital challenge should head to
the courts to get a divorce (or an annulment).
For there is hope for a tree, if it is cut down, that it
will sprout again, and that its tender shoots will not cease. Though its root
may grow old in the earth, and its stump may die in the ground, yet at the
scent of water it will bud and bring forth branches like a plant.
Job 14: 7-9 New King James Version
Enjoy your day
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