Another True Life Story

(Names and locations changed to protect the identities of the people involved)

 

Paul met Mirabel when she came for a postgraduate internship just before NYSC. She was hoping to get posted to Rivers State so she could serve in the Company and gain relevant experience.

 

"I like your shirt. Where did you get it?"

 

Paul had been watching Mirabel and finally mustered the courage to talk to her.

 

She smiled and told him where she got the shirt. Obviously, he was more interested in Mirabel than in the shirt. They easily became friendly and a month later, Mirabel was posted to a Northern state. She was quite devastated and every effort to find her way back to Rivers State proved abortive.

 

Just before she left for NYSC, Paul got her phone number. It took Mirabel about 6 months to finally accept her posting as God's will. Paul called her every day. In the space of a few months, Paul told Mirabel that he would like to marry her. Mirabel couldn't take him seriously as she barely knew him. She felt like he had some baggage and he definitely wasn't her type.

 

Paul persisted. In the course of their discussions, Mirabel felt Paul wasn't a believer, though he was religious. She found him to be a good listener and soon grew fond of him. However, she was sure she couldn't marry an unbeliever like him.

 

Paul was obviously smitten by Mirabel, or so she thought. He was always on hand to run any errand for her. He told everyone important to him about Mirabel, including his nuclear family. Mirabel did not hide any part of her personality from him. She was very vocal and opinionated but he didn't seem to mind. She believed in the equality of sexes and Paul did not appear to mind.

 

The issue of Paul's faith hung between them. At some point, after her NYSC, Mirabel issued Paul an ultimatum - Give your life to Christ and become a member of my church OR say goodbye to whatever could be between us. Paul was unwilling to go to his wife's church, not because he had any issues with the church but because he didn't want to be seen as a man controlled by his wife. Mirabel asked Paul to please stop calling her. By this time, Paul had met Mirabel's parents. She had introduced him as her friend, though he hoped for more.

 

Mirabel moved on and even dated someone else. The relationship didn't quite work out and Mirabel remained focused on her ministry and career. After a few months, Paul called her and told her that he was agreeing to her terms. Mirabel told him that he would have to attend the church (not her own branch) for a while, attend and graduate from the beginners' class and be baptized before they could continue talking about getting married.

 

Once while Paul was trying to convince Mirabel to consider him, he called her and told her that he was at the ground floor of her office waiting for her. She told him that they didn't make plans to see and she was too swamped with work to see him. It turned out that he wasn't truly downstairs, he just wanted to know if she would have attended to him if he had truly come.

 

Apart from Mirabel's misgivings on his spirituality, another issue she had was with Paul's idea of romance. For him, the fact that he THOUGHT about her was enough romance. He wasn't stingy but many times, his gifts were just a little off. He'll buy her dresses that don't fit or shoes that were better for men.

 

In the course of the (non)courtship, Mirabel kept feeling like God was leading her to marry Paul. During one of her church conventions, she tabled the matter before God. He showed her that Paul was the man for her but the journey ahead was not a smooth one. She kept these to herself.

 

When Paul asked her again to marry him in a non-ceremony, she accepted his proposal and they eventually got married. After a few months of marriage, Paul started complaining about Mirabel's clothes. According to him, they did not reflect the fact that she was now a married woman. When Mirabel got tired of hearing Paul repeat the same complaint over and over again, she reminded him that the first sentence he ever made to her was "I like your shirt". She also pointed out to him that he hadn't given her a DIME to effect a change in wardrobe.

 

Paul finally gave her some money to change her wardrobe. Suddenly, the Paul that appeared to be comfortable with a vocal and opinionated Mirabel expected her to meekly submit to every of his decisions without questioning them. Also, he found fault with everything Mirabel did. He criticized her every move and found a way to belittle every of her achievements.

 

Mirabel, being vocal and opinionated, did not meekly submit as expected. She resisted every move to break her spirit and lashed out at him. To compound matters, there was a delay in conception. Paul told Mirabel that one of his friends, who was a pastor, had told him that Mirabel had a spirit husband. That was why she was so stubborn and it was the reason why she experienced delay in conception. He recommended that she subject herself to deliverance.

 

Mirabel refused to accept that she had a spirit husband or that she needed deliverance. She persisted and succeeded in getting pregnant. She hoped the pregnancy would prove to Paul that she didn't have a spirit husband and that she didn't need deliverance.

 

Today, Paul insists that he only pursued Mirabel because a prophet he used to esteem told him that Mirabel was the best wife for him. He doesn't have much respect for the prophet anymore so he has abandoned his family and refused to contact them.

 

What life lessons can we as single and married people learn from Paul and Mirabel? Which of their mistakes should we avoid in our relationships and marriages?

 

Enjoy!