A while ago, I spoke rather harsh words to my husband. It wasn't my first time. He responded and we both said really hurtful words to each other.
I went to the guest room and cried. After crying, I reported him to the Holy Spirit. Of course, I didn't report myself because as far as I was concerned, I was just reacting to his 'wickedness'. So, I waited for God to tell me that He would flog my husband and warn him never to mess with the apple of His eyes...
I went to the guest room and cried. After crying, I reported him to the Holy Spirit. Of course, I didn't report myself because as far as I was concerned, I was just reacting to his 'wickedness'. So, I waited for God to tell me that He would flog my husband and warn him never to mess with the apple of His eyes...
When I heard from God, the answer was FAR from what I expected...The Lord asked me if I would have said ANY of the things I said to my husband to any brother in church. My answer was NO! He asked if I would have reacted the same way I did if it was a brother in church that committed the 'crime' my husband supposedly committed (He didn't do things the way Queen Oyinda wanted them done). My answer obviously was "NO".
Finally, God asked me if my husband isn't my brother in Christ...I became silent for a long time...I had no smart answer...
Many of us treat our spouses worse than we'll treat strangers YET we're supposed to be one flesh...With your mouth, my sister, you belittle him. With your mouth/fists, you strip her of honor and dignity...You are violating your vows and God was at the wedding ceremony ooo.
Finally, God asked me if my husband isn't my brother in Christ...I became silent for a long time...I had no smart answer...
Many of us treat our spouses worse than we'll treat strangers YET we're supposed to be one flesh...With your mouth, my sister, you belittle him. With your mouth/fists, you strip her of honor and dignity...You are violating your vows and God was at the wedding ceremony ooo.
I wish I can tell you that I'm perfect and never feel like hitting my husband with words that'll destroy his self-confidence. That's a lie! However, if I fall into that sin, I won't justify it and claim it's not as bad as hitting him or stabbing him. I'm not channeling my frustrations properly and my conflict resolution skills are poor. I realise I need to know how to channel my anger to more productive activities and only return to the discussion when I can speak without yelling and using hurtful words. My boss still coached me recently about keeping my voice down when I'm upset. And I KNOW I'm trying.
I believe an abuser can change ONCE he/she acknowledges that he/she is abusive and submits himself/herself to godly counsel. It's helpful to identify your triggers, understand WHY they make you so furious and make an action plan to help you choose a more productive reaction instead of yelling or hitting.
These days, when I feel the anger rising, I try to walk away. If I can not, I find a way to switch off from the conversation and maybe count 1-10 (or 20 or whatever number gets me calm). Then I can return and have that conversation again.
I've had a rewarding day, though I had to use my anger management technique once today. I trust that your day has been fantastic?
I believe an abuser can change ONCE he/she acknowledges that he/she is abusive and submits himself/herself to godly counsel. It's helpful to identify your triggers, understand WHY they make you so furious and make an action plan to help you choose a more productive reaction instead of yelling or hitting.
These days, when I feel the anger rising, I try to walk away. If I can not, I find a way to switch off from the conversation and maybe count 1-10 (or 20 or whatever number gets me calm). Then I can return and have that conversation again.
I've had a rewarding day, though I had to use my anger management technique once today. I trust that your day has been fantastic?
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