About "Marrying Within"

Yesterday, one of the younger ladies asked me if my husband follows me to MY church. I don't own any church so I quickly corrected her.

This "MY church", " YOUR church" matter was a source of conflict for us earlier on (I was the guilty party). I have since had a brain reset and we've moved on to greater heights. Yes, I left MY church, where I was told repeatedly to marry from "within" so we'll both be listening to the same thing. He also left the church he was attending where he wasn't told that. We initially tried MY church and I'll give it to him that he tried TOO hard to fit in. I had a brain reset and now we've found OUR church, where such myths are not peddled (It is a myth).

If you want to marry from "within", please go ahead. It is not okay to force/lure someone from "without" to come "within" just so you can get married. The "marry within" commandment is man-made and MAY have merits. However, I think intending couples should discuss this issue seriously before getting married. If they can't find a common ground, I think they should go their separate ways FRANKLY. I'm not a fan of letting a critical part of you go just to get married. I term that "settling".

For couples dealing with this, I think BOTH parties need to be open-minded. My deliverance came when I asked God to open my eyes that I may see. Then, I saw that I was the one causing majority of our conflicts. It is hard letting go and allowing my husband make decisions and taking the role of the co-leader but I realize that for the peace of God to reign, that's what I need to do.

I am not mute in the marriage; I've learnt to keep quiet and let my husband speak FIRST. Then, I say whatever else I think needs to be said. Thankfully, he has a good head on his shoulders and people usually say we think alike anyway. In the rare cases where I have more to add, I state my case and try to persuade (backed up with prayers). That's what I understand submission to be but let's not argue about that one today, lol.

Back to "marry within" matter, if you want to marry within, please go ahead. Just stop dragging those from "without" and trying to make them "within" by force. And if you're "without" and you meet a "marry within" person, let me tell you the raw truth, it's only in extremely rare cases that the mindset can be changed. As your sister, I'll advise you to escape while you can but if you like, you can go ahead and hope for a miracle. All the best.

Enjoy your day.