I remember a British man I once met in a neighbouring country I travelled to for a workshop. He had interesting stories to share (I don't know why people find it easy to tell me these stories).
I told him then that I had to travel without my 4 month old baby (she was still breastfeeding, though not exclusively). I needed to go on that trip because there was a lot happening in my marriage. The trip turned out to be one that helped me realize that I was the major troubler of my home, though my husband had his own share of the blame.
The British man told me that he respects the way women seemed to know what to do with children. He shared about how he once gave his 3 month old child some whiskey when he had exhausted all options of making the crying stop. He said that when his wife asked him how he got the child to stop crying, he just told her it was Daddy's magic. He later confessed that he gave the child some whiskey.
I really wanted to know what his wife did when she learnt that he gave a 3 month old baby some whiskey. If I remember correctly (it's been a few years now), his wife looked up the effects of whiskey on a child. Then they had a fact-based discussion on the merits/demerits of giving a baby some whiskey. There was NO drama. I was shocked!
That was sooo not me. If my husband had given MY baby anything I did not approve of, there would have been a village meeting. We would have gathered at the village square to settle the matter. I was shocked when he finished the story. I think I must have said something POLITELY about not approving of giving a child whiskey.
As I remember the story now, I see the wisdom in the British woman's approach. I have tried the approach a few times myself and I believe it is helpful. When my husband appears with a strange concept, instead of shooting it down as an unreasonable idea of just accepting it as a "submissive wife", I research the idea and come up with facts for/against the concept. If a decision has to be made immediately and I have not yet got my facts right, I let him have his way, if safe, and continue my research.
When my research is robust enough and I've spent enough time in the prayer closet aka War Room, I go with my facts, if I realize that his way is not the best way. That is not because my husband is my Lord and King. It is because you need divine intervention to get ANYONE (male or female) to change their way of thinking. Most of the time, though, after taking time to research the topic properly (not just looking for facts that support MY position), I realize that I am the one that needs to shift ground. Then I'm glad I did not call the village elders to come and witness my shameful insistence on having my own way...
If you choose to only focus on having your way, you WILL ruin vital relationships. It doesn't matter if you are male or female. A "know-it-all" drains his/her partner. I've been there, done that and I have the T-Shirt...Now, I'm learning to listen to AND ACCOMMODATE other perspectives. It is not an easy road to walk on but I'm learning that if I wish to influence others, it is NOT negotiable.
And that's how the much anticipated holiday flew away. Yeah, I blame the past administration for that too. Lol.
Enjoy your day.
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