Good day. Thanks a lot for the feedback on the post on Sarah and Hagar. I appreciate every perspective that was shared. I hope to address the issues raised as much as possible as I progress with the series.
I managed to miss out yesterday that God promised to establish Hagar and those particular blessings were tied to her submission (to Sarai) in that situation. I hope to expound on this as the series progresses.
This post is the second in the series. The first one is about Sarah and Hagar. Here is the scripture for today:
Genesis 41:39-41
New International Version (NIV)
Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.” So, Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I hereby put you in charge of the whole land of Egypt.”
In this instance, Pharaoh proclaimed to Joseph, in the presence of whoever was in his palace that day, that Joseph was in charge of all his palace and his people were to SUBMIT to Joseph's orders.
Why were the Egyptians supposed to submit to Joseph's orders? Because Pharaoh said so! It didn't matter whether they liked Joseph or not. They didn't even have to like what Joseph was asking them to do but they were to submit to his orders anyway. (Hopefully, the wife should agree to marry a man whom she respects). However, there is a catch!
What if Joseph was asking them to do something that was in DIRECT conflict with what they KNEW Pharaoh wanted? For example, what if Joseph ordered them to move from Egypt to where Jacob and his brothers were and asked them to establish a new kingdom and leave Pharaoh alone in Egypt? Where the Egyptians to submit to that kind of order from Joseph? No! Why? Because Joseph's authority was DELEGATED authority. His authority derived it's legitimacy from Pharaoh and Joseph could only issue orders that were consistent with what Pharaoh approved.
When he wanted to introduce taxes, he had to get approval from Pharaoh first. If Pharaoh had said no to the introduction of taxes, Joseph had no authority to ask the Egyptians to pay taxes.
In a marriage where both parties have agreed to do the love/submission thing, the husband has DELEGATED authority. If he is asking his wife to do what is outside of the Lord's will, the wife does not have to obey him. She should obey God rather than man. The man should get his heart right with the Lord and stop abusing his DELEGATED authority. He needs to be obeying the Lord's order before he dares bring up the "S" word.
I am sure there are other lessons to learn from this scripture. Please feel free to share.
#SubmissionSeries
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Submission Series - Sarah and Hagar
I am starting a series on the word "Submission". We know a lot of atrocities have been committed because of that word. We know a lot of people now detest the word. I think it's fair to spend some time to see what the Bible ACTUALLY says about the word. Please feel free to share your thoughts RESPECTFULLY in the comments. No personal attacks, please.
Scripture 1 - Hagar and Sarah
Genesis 16:8-10
New International Version (NIV)
And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”
“I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered.
Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.”
I can imagine the reaction in some minds... So, God supports slavery? In my opinion, I think God deals with us based on our peculiar circumstances. In this case, we will need to go back to understand how Hagar ended up as Sarah's slave. I don't think this means God supports slavery. Later in Philemon, a slave ran away from his master and Paul basically asked the master to receive his former slave as a dear brother. If I do get to write about slavery in the Scriptures, we will deal with the issue more.
Back to our story, somehow, Hagar ended up as Sarah's slave. Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham as a WIFE in a "surrogacy gone bad" move. Some claim Hagar masterminded the plot but I haven't found anything in the Scriptures that suggests so. Hagar got pregnant and started acting rude to her former madam, now co-wife. Sarah started ill-treating Hagar. Hagar ran away and met an angel on the way.
In my mind, both Sarah and Hagar were wrong and out of line. This verse is how God could deal with the consequences of poor decisions. Apparently, Sarah was unwilling to listen to what God or anyone else had to say in that matter. Hagar was the more vulnerable person in the entire scenario. She was pregnant and now a fugitive. It was in her best interest to return to Abraham and Sarah and bear Sarah's harshness for the time. Later, when she was sent away with her 13 year old son and a bottle of water, she was not as vulnerable. God did not ask her then to return and submit to a mistress that had freed her. He (God) took care of her and her child.
The lesson for me here is that our submission to whoever we are submitting to should be based on what God is telling us to do AT THE TIME.
I am sure there are other lessons to learn from this story. Please feel free to share.
#SubmissionSeries
Scripture 1 - Hagar and Sarah
Genesis 16:8-10
New International Version (NIV)
And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”
“I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered.
Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.”
I can imagine the reaction in some minds... So, God supports slavery? In my opinion, I think God deals with us based on our peculiar circumstances. In this case, we will need to go back to understand how Hagar ended up as Sarah's slave. I don't think this means God supports slavery. Later in Philemon, a slave ran away from his master and Paul basically asked the master to receive his former slave as a dear brother. If I do get to write about slavery in the Scriptures, we will deal with the issue more.
Back to our story, somehow, Hagar ended up as Sarah's slave. Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham as a WIFE in a "surrogacy gone bad" move. Some claim Hagar masterminded the plot but I haven't found anything in the Scriptures that suggests so. Hagar got pregnant and started acting rude to her former madam, now co-wife. Sarah started ill-treating Hagar. Hagar ran away and met an angel on the way.
In my mind, both Sarah and Hagar were wrong and out of line. This verse is how God could deal with the consequences of poor decisions. Apparently, Sarah was unwilling to listen to what God or anyone else had to say in that matter. Hagar was the more vulnerable person in the entire scenario. She was pregnant and now a fugitive. It was in her best interest to return to Abraham and Sarah and bear Sarah's harshness for the time. Later, when she was sent away with her 13 year old son and a bottle of water, she was not as vulnerable. God did not ask her then to return and submit to a mistress that had freed her. He (God) took care of her and her child.
The lesson for me here is that our submission to whoever we are submitting to should be based on what God is telling us to do AT THE TIME.
I am sure there are other lessons to learn from this story. Please feel free to share.
#SubmissionSeries
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
My Deliverance From The "Virtuous Woman" Syndrome
I got totally cured from the "virtuous woman" syndrome (attending to EVERY chore and not allowing others participate) when I heard of how a fellow "virtuous woman" slumped and died after returning from a Holy Ghost conference.
She worked, cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids and everyone else but herself. She was a year younger than I am. I was especially annoyed when I read the husband's eulogy. He asked what he would do without her. In my mind, the answer was "house chores".
Sir, you can't leave your wife to be caring for and raising the kids you both brought to this world by herself and be acting surprised/amazed/disgusted when it starts telling on her physical appearance/mental health/physical health.
My sister, as you are taking care of everyone else, please take care of yourself too. Don't leave your children motherless because you are trying to "build your home". Your family deserves a physically fit and mentally whole wife/mother. Don't "tight the world to your chest". You will be celebrated, in Jesus'Name.
#YesIAmUpset
#deadbeatfathers
#deadbeatdads
She worked, cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids and everyone else but herself. She was a year younger than I am. I was especially annoyed when I read the husband's eulogy. He asked what he would do without her. In my mind, the answer was "house chores".
Sir, you can't leave your wife to be caring for and raising the kids you both brought to this world by herself and be acting surprised/amazed/disgusted when it starts telling on her physical appearance/mental health/physical health.
My sister, as you are taking care of everyone else, please take care of yourself too. Don't leave your children motherless because you are trying to "build your home". Your family deserves a physically fit and mentally whole wife/mother. Don't "tight the world to your chest". You will be celebrated, in Jesus'Name.
#YesIAmUpset
#deadbeatfathers
#deadbeatdads
Resolving Marital Conflicts Without Involving A Third Party
If you are not open to having "third party" interference, even when they mean well, in your home, then you should be extremely open to hearing what your spouse is actually saying or trying to say at all times.
If you expect your spouse to always open up to you, you need to take even their criticisms (not abuse oooo) in good fate and ask for their opinions on how they think you can improve in the areas that they have pointed out. Agree on a plan that involves both of you. Don't use that opportunity to tell them their areas of weakness, except that was the plan.
If you have to point out your spouse's flaws, be gracious about it. No one naturally takes criticism well. Let them know you value their presence in your life and you are only pointing out the issues because you want their continuous improvement. Come up with a way to address the issue that involves you. That demonstrates your commitment to the relationship. For example, if your wife is medically obese and needs weight management, offer to sign both of you up in the gym and agree to join her in dieting. Be her accountability partner. Don't just tell her "You are overweight, go and do something about it". Your involvement in the weight management program will be a great motivator.
Take time daily to pray with and for your spouse daily. You will be alright! Enjoy your day.
If you expect your spouse to always open up to you, you need to take even their criticisms (not abuse oooo) in good fate and ask for their opinions on how they think you can improve in the areas that they have pointed out. Agree on a plan that involves both of you. Don't use that opportunity to tell them their areas of weakness, except that was the plan.
If you have to point out your spouse's flaws, be gracious about it. No one naturally takes criticism well. Let them know you value their presence in your life and you are only pointing out the issues because you want their continuous improvement. Come up with a way to address the issue that involves you. That demonstrates your commitment to the relationship. For example, if your wife is medically obese and needs weight management, offer to sign both of you up in the gym and agree to join her in dieting. Be her accountability partner. Don't just tell her "You are overweight, go and do something about it". Your involvement in the weight management program will be a great motivator.
Take time daily to pray with and for your spouse daily. You will be alright! Enjoy your day.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
BROTHER, SPEAK UP
One of my male colleagues ehn...
A few days, someone attacked his work and his come-back was weak. I sincerely believed he had done a shoddy job. I had to go and investigate because it kind of impacts on my own work.
I checked and discovered that he had done a fairly decent job though there is some room for improvement. I told him yesterday that he needs to speak up and lean in and whatever else they usually tell us women.
Today, the matter came up at a meeting and he started to falter as he was being attacked again. So, I hijacked the discussion and firmly told the guys that had entered attack mode that I had checked the work and it wasn't so terrible.
Of course they couldn't attack me the way they had been attacking the guy first because I am a lady and secondly because they KNOW that the matter will not end quickly. I can drag a matter, if I feel strongly enough, for years... 😂😂😂😂
Eventually, they backed down and moved on to another topic. After the meeting, I went to apologize to the owner of the fight for taking over. He started preaching to me about how he likes to let his work speak for him. I tried hard not to roll my eyes, lol.
One thing that pains me is how some guys will be forming "gentleman" and will allow people that I have no decent name for walk over them. Yesterday, I read on Aishatu's wall about a guy who was given a 4 page list (and in fact, there was also a cost of preparing the list sef) as 'bride price'. Most people were bashing the bride price issue. My comment was for the guy to either find a cheaper bride or have a court wedding (statutory marriage).
Personally, I have no qualms with bride price. I just prefer statutory marriage to customary marriage because the rights of both husband and wife are properly protected with the statutory marriage. I'll rather make customary marriage go extinct or be forced to be reformed by advocating for statutory marriage than to try to advocate for the abolishment of the bride price.
There was a comment on that post that came to mind as I reflected about my colleague today. It's about men who, for reasons best known to them, would rather be silent and allow unreasonable people walk over them in a bid to prove that they are gentlemen. My brother, don't let unreasonable people bully you o. You don't need to resort to violence but you need to be firm. There are healthy ways of defining boundaries.
#GenderParity
A few days, someone attacked his work and his come-back was weak. I sincerely believed he had done a shoddy job. I had to go and investigate because it kind of impacts on my own work.
I checked and discovered that he had done a fairly decent job though there is some room for improvement. I told him yesterday that he needs to speak up and lean in and whatever else they usually tell us women.
Today, the matter came up at a meeting and he started to falter as he was being attacked again. So, I hijacked the discussion and firmly told the guys that had entered attack mode that I had checked the work and it wasn't so terrible.
Of course they couldn't attack me the way they had been attacking the guy first because I am a lady and secondly because they KNOW that the matter will not end quickly. I can drag a matter, if I feel strongly enough, for years... 😂😂😂😂
Eventually, they backed down and moved on to another topic. After the meeting, I went to apologize to the owner of the fight for taking over. He started preaching to me about how he likes to let his work speak for him. I tried hard not to roll my eyes, lol.
One thing that pains me is how some guys will be forming "gentleman" and will allow people that I have no decent name for walk over them. Yesterday, I read on Aishatu's wall about a guy who was given a 4 page list (and in fact, there was also a cost of preparing the list sef) as 'bride price'. Most people were bashing the bride price issue. My comment was for the guy to either find a cheaper bride or have a court wedding (statutory marriage).
Personally, I have no qualms with bride price. I just prefer statutory marriage to customary marriage because the rights of both husband and wife are properly protected with the statutory marriage. I'll rather make customary marriage go extinct or be forced to be reformed by advocating for statutory marriage than to try to advocate for the abolishment of the bride price.
There was a comment on that post that came to mind as I reflected about my colleague today. It's about men who, for reasons best known to them, would rather be silent and allow unreasonable people walk over them in a bid to prove that they are gentlemen. My brother, don't let unreasonable people bully you o. You don't need to resort to violence but you need to be firm. There are healthy ways of defining boundaries.
#GenderParity
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