SOMETIMES, IT'S JUST FOR YOUR GOOD

My daughter was watching a Children's DVD she obviously wasn't enjoying much but was managing. We decided to change the DVD to a Barney DVD that she would obviously enjoy. While changing the DVD, my daughter began to throw a tantrum because what she was watching (which she wasn't even enjoying) was stopped. It didn't matter that there was something more enjoyable and pleasurable ahead. All she could see and react to was the present discomfort. Now that Barney is playing, the discomfort and tantrum of a few minutes ago have been forgotten.

 

Many of us are just like her. We find ourselves with a situation we're really managing and we're praying to God to move us to the "next level".

 

When the "tests" that we need to pass to get to the next level come, instead of writing our test/exam, we're going from pillar to post doing all we can to resist the test when we should really be writing the "test".

 

"But He knoweth the way that I take; when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10

 

Enjoy your day.

WHO IS HE THAT SPEAKETH WHEN THE LORD HAS NOT SPOKEN?

Dear Brother,

You have heard "The Lord" tell you that Sister A is "The One". Two weeks later, you heard it's Sister B. Four months later, it's Sister C. Meanwhile, you haven't heard any voice telling you what the next step in your career is. No voice is telling you where the contracts are. The "Holy Spirit" you have only deals with "The One"...Issokay oooo...I just want to tell you that God doesn't take it lightly when you tell lies with His name. You can still repent and learn of Him. You can also take your self esteem issues to Him and He will help you. At the appropriate time, He will show you the real "The One" and give you true words to tell her. You won't need to coerce her with the "Thus saith the Lord" lies...

 

Dear Sister,

If God has to go behind you to tell someone else who you should marry, you are not yet ready for the ministry called marriage. Please go and tarry in the place of prayer and in your study of the Word till you learn the voice of the Master...

 

"Who is he that saith, and it cometh to pass, when the Lord commandeth it not?"

Lamentations 3:37

 

Enjoy your day.

TO IYAWO ASIKO

Good day again. I'm on a roll today, lol.

Yesterday, I heard Nomoreloss' version of "Iyawo Asiko" (a remix of Orlando Owoh's original version). I love the song for some inexplicable reason but I hadn't heard it for a long time until yesterday. Please indulge me as I talk about who I consider to be an "Iyawo Asiko" (A wife that is up to date with current trends).

 

Essentially, "Iyawo Asiko" is cheating on her husband/boyfriend. One of my room mates in University told me that her mother told her not to have only one boyfriend as men are generally unstable, lol. I'm undecided on whether one can be said to be cheating on someone you're not married to, though. Please feel free to defend your position RESPECTFULLY. Thanks.

 

Anyway, a funny part of the song (at least to me) is "Wa ri e ni Sokoto, wa ri e ni Calabar, wa ri e l'Oyingbo, wa ri e l'Agege, irin gbere gbere t'on rin ko ma temi l'orun o e, irin gbere gbere t'on rin ko ma temi l'orun o, omidan" For those that can't understand the tongues I just wrote, I'll interprete. "You're seen in Sokoto, Calabar, Oyingbo and Agege; I'm dissatisfied with your 'crooked waka waka'", lol. Except you're job hunting, or in the travel or logistics industry, I can't understand why a human being, and a woman in particular cannot sit still and focus on productive ventures. Why are you so interested in the way other people run their lives? I'm not a fan of ladies that claim to be housewives, just "taking care of the kids". I am not saying everyone should be in paid employment but I'm advocating that every woman should be financially liberated and empowered. I detest the idea of a person depending on another human being for their sustenance. I believe there are productive ventures you can engage in that will not impact your family adversely.

 

Then there's this part - "I know you wanna be free, I know you wanna fly, please don't let me stop you, I guess it's goodbye". I hope Nomoreloss was being sarcastic. Which "Iyawo Asiko" is free? Where is she flying to? She has made herself a slave of fashion trends. I don't appreciate anyone trying to force another human being to change so they can be wife/husband "material"; I believe in influencing people to change their ways FOR THEIR OWN GOOD. However, I respect the guy's decision to part ways as he cannot cope with the "irin gbere gbere" of "Iyawo Asiko".

 

In a related development, the idea of housewives who are being 'serviced' by the handymen that come to repair things around the house flew into my head. If you are the woman that the Lord is talking about, it's time to repent and be converted. It's time to return to the Lord so that times of refreshing can come.

 

PS: Sir, I didn't say you should start monitoring your "housewife". If there is an issue and you're sensitive to the Holy Spirit, God will show you and give you wisdom to address the issue with the right approach."

Enjoy your day

IS BLOOD REALLY THICKER THAN WATER?

Good morning people. How are you doing? Please can you read till the end as I broach this very sensitive topic? If you want to lynch me after reading AND COMPREHENDING my point, please feel free to.

 

Who came up with "Blood is thicker than water"? Was an experiment conducted to arrive at this conclusion? Is there a research report that confirms that the viscosity of every type of water, including swamp water, as well as every type of blood was included in this research?

 

If it is really true that blood is thicker than water, why do we have mothers that betray their children in the worst possible way? How come Attaliah could comfortably kill her grandchildren? Why are there fathers/grandfathers that rape their daughters/granddaughters? Why are there parents that manipulate their children and try to force their own will on the children? Why are there sisters/cousins that snatch their sister/cousin's husband? Why are there brothers that seize their dead brother's property and deny their nephews and nieces of the opportunity to get a good start in life?

 

I just learnt of a lady that transacted some business with her sister and COMMANDED the sister to use part of the money that she has earned to give to their other siblings. I know it's nice to help siblings out but it shouldn't be by force. I know there is the possibility that the elder sister has used her position of influence to get her younger sister a contract that isn't really due to her. Frankly, that is corruption. If that is what's going on, you need to distance yourself from that sister. She will continue to play 'god' in your life, telling you who you can associate with and if you're not careful, you will have marital problems. Please note that I haven't said that it's always wrong to accept help from family members; just check that the strings attached are not costing you your soul and joy...

 

I have personally resolved not to let "Blood is thicker than water" destroy my life. The attrocities being carried out by "family" members is mind-boggling. They then turn around and tell their victim to endure the abuse because "blood is thicker than water". I just wonder why the fact that "blood is thicker than water" didn't stop the abuser from perpetuating evil...I don't even want to recount the horrible stories I've heard about the evil deeds of family members to their own blood. It is well. I have resolved to know no (wo)man after the flesh (2 Corinthians 5: 16a). Like Jesus Christ, I say, "For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother!" Matthew 12:50

 

It is great to be loved by your family. Unfortunately, not everyone is blessed by such family members. If you are dealing with family members that do not appear to have your best interests at heart, I recommend that you distance yourself from them and send them your prayers & support from afar. You can visit them once in a while but you NEED boundaries. Let the Holy Spirit guide you on how to interact with such family members (you should let Him guide you in ALL your interactions too).

 

May the Lord continue to guide and uphold us, in Jesus' Name. Amen.

 

Enjoy your day!

THE RESPONSIBILITY OF PRAYER

Ezekiel 22:30

King James Version (KJV)

 

And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none.

 

Where are the faithful MEN that will stand in the gap for their homes and nations? I keep seeing so many praying wives and mothers. Infact, I came across a post where it was claimed that it is the wife/mother's responsibility to pray for every member of the home. Prayer is too critical for us to assume that someone is doing it on our behalf...

 

"And He (Jesus) spake a parable unto them to this end, that MEN ought always to pray, and not to faint" Luke 18:1

 

Interestingly, in the parable, Jesus talked about a woman who was persistent. I think the "men" in verse 1 was referring to human beings and not the "male man". My point is that both men and women need to be persistent in prayer. It is not an activity just for the prayer band members, prayer warriors or the "Good women".

 

If you will make meaningful impact in your world, you need to learn to take out time to pray.

 

"...The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]." James 5: 16b

 

Enjoy your day

LESSONS FROM MR & MRS POTIPHAR

Good day people. How is the day going?

 

The Holy Spirit led me to the story of Joseph and the Potiphars in the Bible as I was pondering over how to retain well-performing staff as an employer of labour. The story of Joseph and the Potiphars is in Genesis 39: 1-21. It is a very long read so I won't reproduce here. I know a lot of us are familiar with the story from Joseph's perspective. I want to look at it from Potiphar's perspective.

 

Potiphar bought a 'regular' slave, the regular way slaves were bought. Somehow, though, Potiphar realised that "the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did", he was smart enough to ignore protocol and put Joseph in charge. I can imagine how much envy that would caused already amongst Potiphar's servants. I'm tempted to ask a Joseph-focused question but I'll resist the temptation. Instead, I'll ask a Potiphar-focused question. Can you, as an employer spot the employee that brings so much value to your enterprise? If yes, how do you treat such employees?

 

It's funny that some employers are blessed with such employees and they put in effort to frustrate them. Instead of setting yourself up to enjoy the benefits of the Lord's favour, you have appointed yourself as the Frustrator of the Universe. #BeGuided

 

One issue I can deduce with Potiphar's handling of his wife and Joseph is that he left the door wide open. I'm not saying he should have been policing Joseph and/or his wife but I think there should have been boundaries. My dear sister, Omolola Mary Omosebi, is currently writing a series on Protecting Your Marriage. I think some of her posts address my concern about Potiphar's naivety here. Joseph and Mrs. Potiphar were spending way too much time together. Of course, Mrs Potiphar was a seductress and (un)fortunately, Joseph was handsome and well-built (not that it was his fault, though). A lesson for me, as an employer, is to maintain boundaries between my staff and my spouse.

 

I wonder what Potiphar would have done if Joseph had told him that Madam was making advances at him. I don't think Potiphar would have sided with Joseph and taken up issues with his wife. What would you do if your most valued employee told you that your spouse is making advances at them? I'll appreciate candid answers. You can send me a private message with your answer, if you wish to remain anonymous.

 

I sincerely think Joseph was a bit too relaxed, considering the fact that he knew Madam wanted him. I don't know why he continued to work when there was no one in the house; I mean what task is that important, lol. Anyway, I'm not focusing on Joseph today so let me quickly move on after saying this - "When you're crying, ensure you're still seeing" #AWordIsEnoughForTheWise

 

Potiphar heard only his wife's side of the story. I think there should have been some form of investigation, considering the gravity of the allegations. He took a decision when he burned with anger. Every successful person KNOWS that the best decisions are made when calm. Potiphar lost the staff that caused his household to prosper because of the Lord's favour. Why? Because he took a decision while he was angry. I know of families that let their best domestic staff go because "Mama" told them that the staff was stealing food. They didn't investigate; they just took Mama's word for it. They have been changing domestic helps and have many tales of woe. I'm not saying everyone who is having problems with domestic helps let a good help go, though that is the case with many of the people I know dealing with bad helps.

 

Potiphar threw Joseph in prison and propelled him to the next phase of his destiny. Unfortunately for Potiphar, that is the last time he or any member of his household was mentioned in the Bible. His hasty, angry decision led him to oblivion. In contrast, Joseph continued to soar until he became Prime Minister. I suppose that when the famine became very terrible, Potiphar and his household would have had to go to Joseph to buy/beg for grain. A wise man once said, "Be careful how you treat those beneath you on your way up; you may just meet them on your way down". Such a case is playing out before my very eyes today. Thank God they both had a smooth relationship before the roles were reversed.

 

I pray that your eyes will be open to see the good in your staff. I pray for wisdom to treat our staff right while protecting our families. I pray for wisdom so we don't make that hasty, angry decision that will destroy our homes/businesses. I pray for anyone who has made such a hasty and angry decision that the mercy of God will speak for you and cause everything to work out for your good as you repent and return to the Lord, in Jesus' Name. Amen.

 

Enjoy your day

Hephzibah on Prayer (Part 1)

Yesterday, I put up a post about a comment on a prayer post that there were too many "prayer against" versus "prayer for" points. Let's start our Bible Study.

 

BV001 Genesis 32:9,11

Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, Lord, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’... Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children.

 

Hephzibah's Commentary

Jacob had deceived his brother, Esau, and taken his birthright. Esau obviously had SOLD the birthright but the unfortunate thing is that Esau was the stronger one of the brothers.

 

Jacob was the custodian of the Abrahamic covenant still he had to cry to God to save him and his family from the hand of Esau his brother. If God did not intervene, Esau would have killed Jacob and his descendants.

 

In my opinion, this is one reason why blood-washed believers still need to pray against the activities of the wicked. Many annointed people have had their glorious future terminated because of the activities of the wicked.

 

Paul, in 2 Thessalonians 3:2, asked for prayers against wicked and unreasonable men for not all men have faith. I agree that some of the 'deliverance' prayers can be ridiculous. However, it doesn't cancel the need for praying against the activities of wicked and unreasonable men and women.

 

I'll put up separate posts for each Bible Verse (BV). Enjoy your day.

You're making me late

Brother Stanley and Sister Grace have 3 kids. Brother Stanley is the Head Usher in the church. Sister Grace used to be a committed member of the choir before she got married and the kids arrived.

Frankly, Brother Stanley doesn't help much with the kids. He was raised to believe that it is a woman's role. Afterall, his mother raised 5 kids without much interference from his dad.

 

Sister Grace is overloaded and won't mind if her own day has 25 or 26 hours. She is exhausted day in, day out. She has been taught that the virtuous woman makes it work somehow. She and Brother Stanley agree that only lazy women hire people to do the woman's "job".

 

On service days, Brother Stanley drives everyone to church. He expects everyone to get ready by a certain time. He doesn't want to go late to church because as the Head Usher, he has to get to church on time. The punishment for coming late is a fine of 2000 Naira. He has left his family more than twice to find their way to church.

 

On one occasion, Sis Grace didn't have a lot of money with her so she had to manage with the kids in a bus while Brother Stanley drove in the car and picked up some church members along the way. He is considered very generous and helpful by church members but his family members are not enjoying that grace.

 

Sister Grace is trying to learn how to drive but her schedule doesn't support such extra-curricular activities. Deep inside, she feels alone and in addition, whenever there is a "return to your first love" message, she feels guilty about her lack of commitment in the choir these days. Should she just accept this situation as her cross? Or is there something more she can do?

 

Your views may save a home today.

 

**Names have been changed to protect the identities of the parties concerned**

My thoughts on Domestic Violence

My thoughts on Domestic Violence (Physical abuse supposedly provoked by tongue-lashing)

 

My issue is a man claiming he beat his wife because she provoked him to it. I'm convinced that wife-battering was not the ONLY option he had. Unfortunately, wife-battering is going to land him in jail if reported in many cities of the world whereas tongue-lashing isn't a criminal offence. The man who beats his wife does so because he feels he is superior to her and she can't do anything about it. I'll have loved to attribute wife-battering to a lack of self-control but the same man will restrain himself if someone he considers his superior does something similar or worse than what his wife has (wrongly) done to him. My understanding of the term 1 Peter 3:7 includes honoring a wife even if she is acting like a cow.

 

There are better conflict resolution options than domestic violence. An easy one is to switch off emotionally when she's misyarning (if she's not allowing you leave). It takes two to quarrel really; if you ignore her AT THAT MOMENT, she is very likely to run out of steam. Praying under your breath is another option.

 

So, it's hard for me to accept the "She provoked me" angle. I don't believe the law enforcement agent will either...

 

Another question is this - will this man beat his mother if she does the same thing his wife did to "provoke" him? He should have enough self-mastery to address the issue without resorting to violence.

 

There was a day I was going past what I consider to be a slum. I overheard a lady tongue-lashing her husband, airing her dirty linen in public. If not for the comments of those around, you won't believe she was talking to that man. He continued doing whatever it was he was doing. If anyone deserved to be provoked, it was definitely that man. I've seen a front desk lady fling an envelope at a man that is her senior in every ramification.

 

If the woman is obstinate, involve an elder. If she disgraces you and the elder(s), you can consider taking your kids and leaving for a while. Loneliness should help her grow up faster...

 

In one of Tyler Perry's movies that addressed this theme, the "elder" was the lady's aunt. The lady sure was a lying witch that tried to set her kids against their father. She LIED about him hitting her so her son could beat up his father. I don't dispute the fact that there are manipulative witches; unfortunately they are rarely the victims of domestic violence...

 

I found an article that presents my thoughts on this pressing issue succinctly. The link is below. If you have been abusing your spouse, it's time to stop victim-blaming and get godly, professional help. If you are a victim of domestic abuse, get professional godly help.

ABUSE IS NEVER THE VICTIM'S FAULT!

 

Here's the link to the article - http://www.endthefear.co.uk/information/what-is-domestic-abuse/myths-about-domestic-abuse/

 

Enjoy your day.

Another True Life Story

(Names and locations changed to protect the identities of the people involved)

 

Paul met Mirabel when she came for a postgraduate internship just before NYSC. She was hoping to get posted to Rivers State so she could serve in the Company and gain relevant experience.

 

"I like your shirt. Where did you get it?"

 

Paul had been watching Mirabel and finally mustered the courage to talk to her.

 

She smiled and told him where she got the shirt. Obviously, he was more interested in Mirabel than in the shirt. They easily became friendly and a month later, Mirabel was posted to a Northern state. She was quite devastated and every effort to find her way back to Rivers State proved abortive.

 

Just before she left for NYSC, Paul got her phone number. It took Mirabel about 6 months to finally accept her posting as God's will. Paul called her every day. In the space of a few months, Paul told Mirabel that he would like to marry her. Mirabel couldn't take him seriously as she barely knew him. She felt like he had some baggage and he definitely wasn't her type.

 

Paul persisted. In the course of their discussions, Mirabel felt Paul wasn't a believer, though he was religious. She found him to be a good listener and soon grew fond of him. However, she was sure she couldn't marry an unbeliever like him.

 

Paul was obviously smitten by Mirabel, or so she thought. He was always on hand to run any errand for her. He told everyone important to him about Mirabel, including his nuclear family. Mirabel did not hide any part of her personality from him. She was very vocal and opinionated but he didn't seem to mind. She believed in the equality of sexes and Paul did not appear to mind.

 

The issue of Paul's faith hung between them. At some point, after her NYSC, Mirabel issued Paul an ultimatum - Give your life to Christ and become a member of my church OR say goodbye to whatever could be between us. Paul was unwilling to go to his wife's church, not because he had any issues with the church but because he didn't want to be seen as a man controlled by his wife. Mirabel asked Paul to please stop calling her. By this time, Paul had met Mirabel's parents. She had introduced him as her friend, though he hoped for more.

 

Mirabel moved on and even dated someone else. The relationship didn't quite work out and Mirabel remained focused on her ministry and career. After a few months, Paul called her and told her that he was agreeing to her terms. Mirabel told him that he would have to attend the church (not her own branch) for a while, attend and graduate from the beginners' class and be baptized before they could continue talking about getting married.

 

Once while Paul was trying to convince Mirabel to consider him, he called her and told her that he was at the ground floor of her office waiting for her. She told him that they didn't make plans to see and she was too swamped with work to see him. It turned out that he wasn't truly downstairs, he just wanted to know if she would have attended to him if he had truly come.

 

Apart from Mirabel's misgivings on his spirituality, another issue she had was with Paul's idea of romance. For him, the fact that he THOUGHT about her was enough romance. He wasn't stingy but many times, his gifts were just a little off. He'll buy her dresses that don't fit or shoes that were better for men.

 

In the course of the (non)courtship, Mirabel kept feeling like God was leading her to marry Paul. During one of her church conventions, she tabled the matter before God. He showed her that Paul was the man for her but the journey ahead was not a smooth one. She kept these to herself.

 

When Paul asked her again to marry him in a non-ceremony, she accepted his proposal and they eventually got married. After a few months of marriage, Paul started complaining about Mirabel's clothes. According to him, they did not reflect the fact that she was now a married woman. When Mirabel got tired of hearing Paul repeat the same complaint over and over again, she reminded him that the first sentence he ever made to her was "I like your shirt". She also pointed out to him that he hadn't given her a DIME to effect a change in wardrobe.

 

Paul finally gave her some money to change her wardrobe. Suddenly, the Paul that appeared to be comfortable with a vocal and opinionated Mirabel expected her to meekly submit to every of his decisions without questioning them. Also, he found fault with everything Mirabel did. He criticized her every move and found a way to belittle every of her achievements.

 

Mirabel, being vocal and opinionated, did not meekly submit as expected. She resisted every move to break her spirit and lashed out at him. To compound matters, there was a delay in conception. Paul told Mirabel that one of his friends, who was a pastor, had told him that Mirabel had a spirit husband. That was why she was so stubborn and it was the reason why she experienced delay in conception. He recommended that she subject herself to deliverance.

 

Mirabel refused to accept that she had a spirit husband or that she needed deliverance. She persisted and succeeded in getting pregnant. She hoped the pregnancy would prove to Paul that she didn't have a spirit husband and that she didn't need deliverance.

 

Today, Paul insists that he only pursued Mirabel because a prophet he used to esteem told him that Mirabel was the best wife for him. He doesn't have much respect for the prophet anymore so he has abandoned his family and refused to contact them.

 

What life lessons can we as single and married people learn from Paul and Mirabel? Which of their mistakes should we avoid in our relationships and marriages?

 

Enjoy!

BE OPEN-MINDED

Good morning people. How are you today?

 

As I lay on the bed, waiting for my baby to wake up, my attention was drawn to the rechargeable table fan that kicked in when the power supply was cut off. This fan (and its predecessors) have helped me sleep PERSONALLY and ensured that I didn't have to stay up fanning my baby to sleep. The fan(s) have saved the money we would have spent on fuel as well as the discomfort of getting up to put on the generator. The fan has also helped us not flout the neighbourhood rule of not keeping the generator on beyond midnight. The idea is that night sleep should not be disturbed by the noise and fumes from the generator.

 

The designer of the fan was smart enough to include the AC and DC option so the fan can be used as a regular fan when the #Change government ensure that there is 24/7 power supply. I read the manifesto carefully and I'm holding them to EVERY campaign promise in spite of the new song about change starting with the citizenry...Na today?

 

Anyway, I'm sure someone will wonder why I'm getting into so much details of the rechargeable fan. First of all, I am a satisfied customer and I want the world to know about it. Secondly, my person is marketing the brand I use and you can check out details here - (http://deborahmarketsquare.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/rechargeable-table-fans-for-sale.html?m=1)

 

Most importantly, the fan reminds me of how we can make things work if we are open-minded enough to seek a win-win solution. When the rule about turning off generators by midnight was made, there was resistance from a lot of us. The most vocal were people with young children.

 

The need to keep the noise levels low and to minimize pollution from the generator fumes, particularly at night is legitimate. These directly impact the quality of sleep which in turn affects productivity. The heat and the corresponding noise from the kids would also affect the quality and quantity of sleep of the entire household.

 

There have been a few fights as a result of the enforcement of the rule. Thankfully, the rechargeable fan option came as a welcome development. Of course, installing an inverter is another option but it is a more expensive one.

 

I realise that most of the conflicts we have in life are results of insisting dogmatically on our own way. It is imperative, as believers, to live according to Biblical principles. It is equally important to subject our principles to the Word of God. Sometimes, what we are holding on to tenaciously are actually traditions of the "fathers". For example, one guy insists that he cannot back HIS child because he didn't learn that from his father or grandfather. You can imagine how frustrated his wife will be when she has to keep battling with that mindset.

 

I know this is quite lengthy; please manage me like that this morning, lol. I'll round up with two scriptures.

 

" Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful"

1 Corinthians 13: 4-5 (ESV)

 

"If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people."

Romans 12:18 (CEB)

 

Enjoy your day.

There Is Still Hope

Good day people. How are you doing? I trust that the day is going well.

 

I keep seeing posts about how to avoid a bad marriage, how to ensure that you find "The One" and some even divine in order to ensure that they marry the "right" person. The aim of all these is to avoid a "bad" marriage because some even think a "bad" marriage will lead one to hell...I'll like to share my thoughts on this very important subject.

 

1. I believe marriage is honourable and beautiful and it's better to travel in this journey of life with a faithful partner. However, a "bad" marriage is not the worst thing in the whole world. History is filled with people who had "bad" marriages yet they changed the world.

 

2. I believe it is good to let God lead us in our marital choices. However, if you're obsessed with marriage, it is not healthy. I mean there are some people that live, eat, breathe marriage. 95% or more of their conversations centre around relationships and marriage. There are other aspects of life that also need your attention. Some will not make meaningful progress because they don't want to be self-sufficient (whatever that means) before marriage. Uhmmm

 

3. I am not convinced that there is only one "The One" for each individual. I'll love to hear your thoughts on the concept of "The One". I admit that God leads His children even in their marital choices but I don't agree with those that claim that if you don't marry "The One" God made for you, you are doomed for life.

 

4. I believe that it is more important to work on your commitment as a person than to be obsessed with finding "The One". It is to relate with some who only hear from God when it comes to choosing a life-partner. God was not involved when they chose their course of study; they didn't check with Him when they took the job offer. They didn't even think about Him when they were relocating. Okay ooo...Kontiniu

 

5. I believe that marriage has seasons and it is important to ensure that it is not our attitude that is making it feel like a bad marriage. Sometimes, we are trying to force our spouses to be something other than who God made them to be. It will be frustrating to keep up with the Joneses. Work with your spouse to be all that God made him/her to be. Suddenly, the "badness" in many marriages is gone, lol. So, he hasn't figured out the need to help you around the house like your neighbour's husband? I think you should let him know how you feel then make reasonable arrangements that help make your life more bearable while you trust God to open his eyes to see that it is actually possible to engage the baby somehow in his time-out with the TV without causing damage.

 

6. I believe that someone dealing with a truly bad marriage still has hope once they admit that their marriage has issues and they need some form of godly 'intervention'. Whether we're talking of adultery, domestic violence or any of their younger siblings, lol, an unwholesome marriage is NOT the end of the world. God can still bring an eternal message out of the challenges in your union. I'll recommend that you get godly professional help. I think it's worth paying a bit to get the help that may indeed prove to be a lifeline in your marriage.

I read Kathryn Kuhlman's story today and it was encouraging to see that inspite of her divorce, God used her tremendously. That obviously doesn't mean everyone dealing with a marital challenge should head to the courts to get a divorce (or an annulment).

 

For there is hope for a tree, if it is cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its tender shoots will not cease. Though its root may grow old in the earth, and its stump may die in the ground, yet at the scent of water it will bud and bring forth branches like a plant.

Job 14: 7-9 New King James Version

 

Enjoy your day