EVIL PREVAILS WHEN GOOD MEN DO NOTHING

It is amusing that some are chiding those that spoke up against the dictatorial undertone of the barring/banning of AIT's coverage of General Buhari's activities. According to some, the focus should have been on the damning NNPC forensic audit report. Hmmmm.

 

Evil prevails when good men do nothing. One of the issues that some of us that are not convinced that this is the #Change we need have is that General Buhari has not projected the image of one that believes in the principles of democracy. Free speech, freedom of information and a free press are key ingredients of a true democracy.

 

Unfortunately, those of us that are old enough remember Decree 2, a draconian law used to muzzle the press...General Buhari was the man in charge when that decree was used to silence the press. Reading the news of the barring/banning AIT just causes the bells to go off...

 

I hope the appropriate quarters will look at the NNPC forensic audit report and press charges against anyone that has been indicted. I hope we will not hear that it has been settled as a #FamilyAffair.

 

It is our responsibility, as patriotic citizens, to keep our leaders (including the President and the President-Elect) accountable by asking hard questions. Asking people to focus on one national issue at the expense of another because of political affiliations reveals the bias of some so-called activists.

 

God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

THOUGHTS ON ETERNAL SECURITY

Someone asked:

 

"Ever heard of eternal security of the believer? What do you think about it?"

 

My response:

I have heard of it and I believe it TO AN EXTENT. I believe that once you've accepted Christ as your Lord and saviour, you are saved.

 

I think the problem arises when saved people use eternal security to justify continuing in sin. They are saved YET they are not producing fruits that are consistent with the nature of righteousness that they've received. In my opinion, what they need is to be exposed to more of the Word.

If a believer dies in that state, when his works are tried with fire, they will be burnt up but he will be saved. I like to call it the 40 E kind of pass. I want to have 95 or more A kind of distinction, personally. That is my interpretation of 1 Corinthians 3: 10-15.

 

"God, in His kindness, has taught me how to be an expert builder. I have laid the foundation and Apollos has built on it. But he who builds on the foundation must be very careful. And no one can ever lay any other real foundation than that one we already have—Jesus Christ. But there are various kinds of materials that can be used to build on that foundation. Some use gold and silver and jewels; and some build with sticks and hay or even straw! There is going to come a time of testing at Christ’s Judgment Day to see what kind of material each builder has used. Everyone’s work will be put through the fire so that all can see whether or not it keeps its value, and what was really accomplished. Then every workman who has built on the foundation with the right materials, and whose work still stands, will get his pay. But if the house he has built burns up, he will have a great loss. He himself will be saved, but like a man escaping through a wall of flames."

A True Life Story

Good day people. How are you doing? Today I'll be sharing a true life story. Names and places have been changed to protect the identity of the people involved. I've also left out a few details for the same reason and will be unable to share without betraying Sola's confidence. I have tried to no avail to reach Gbenga for his side of the story. I haven't talked to Lolu and I'm not convinced I need to. I hope we can learn a few things from this story. You can also find the story on the Hephzibah Musings Blog.

*************************************

Gbenga and Sola were finally at home. The wedding ceremony had gone well. None of their fears had materialized. Lolu had been so helpful. He was on hand to attend to any little inconvenience.

 

While they were courting, Sola had advised Gbenga to get someone to stay with him. She was concerned about the prospect of Gbenga needing help and having no one to call on. As fate would have it, Gbenga's cousin Lolu got a job in Abuja and needed a place to stay. He naturally moved in with Gbenga.

 

As they prepared for their wedding, Lolu proved very helpful. Gbenga felt comfortable assigning some of his tasks to Lolu. He was really helpful. They agreed that Lolu would find a place of his own not later than a month after the wedding. Everything looked good. The wedding came and went with little hitches. The honeymoon story is worthy of a post of its own.

 

They quickly settled into their marriage doing what married people do. One month quickly flew by but Lolu showed no signs of actively searching for an apartment. Sure, he went on one or two searches but he did not appear to be in a hurry. He was quite helpful around the house and Sola wasn't overly eager to see him go. She got an offer from a concerned person to house Lolu. She told Gbenga about it but Gbenga turned down the offer in a not-too-polite manner. They went on.

 

One challenge Sola had with Lolu's presence in the house was that Gbenga gave her rules and restrictions because of Lolu's presence. She was expected to be covered up because of Lolu. Love-making was restricted to the bedroom. They could only make love elsewhere whenever Lolu was not around (at work, travelled, went to see a friend etc). Also, certain areas of the house were out of bounds to Sola because of Lolu. She couldn't use the visitors' toilet because there was the (unlikely) possibility of Lolu bumping into her while she was doing her business.

 

There was also the issue of Gbenga spending more time with Lolu as they both had common interests a.k.a football, lol. Lolu appeared to have more ownership of the TV remote than Sola. In a bid to keep the peace, Sola would leave Gbenga and Lolu alone and withdraw into the room. Obviously, Lolu's presence was not totally responsible for Gbenga and Sola's problems but his presence didn't seem to help matters.

 

There was also the issue of Gbenga assigning tasks to Lolu that Sola felt he should have at least asked her first. Also Gbenga would borrow money from Lolu without checking first with Sola if she could lend him the money. Gbenga is not one to borrow from anyone without paying back, particularly his wife.  Gbenga probably meant to reduce the stress on Sola but she felt like Lolu was taking her place in Gbenga's life. She raised the issue with Gbenga a few times but he waved away her concern.

 

Sola, obviously wasn't a saint and had her flaws which were quickly revealed. Gbenga also had his shortcomings and soon problems began to manifest. Details of those are probably worthy of two volumes themselves. I'll share details in different posts and leave them out of this story. They kept trying to patch things up but the gulf kept widening.

 

Lolu told Sola one day that there was talk of downsizing in his organization. He felt he was going to be affected. She asked him to send her his CV so she could help him circulate to the appropriate quarters. She also prayed with him. He still works with the same organization today.

 

Sometime later, Lolu told Sola that he was duped by someone masquerading as an agent and could not get his money back. Sola had noticed that Gbenga and Lolu had been talking about Lolu's apartment without involving her. She kept her peace and eventually the result was that Lolu was duped. She prayed with Lolu and counselled him to sow a seed and involve God in the matter.

 

Gbenga and Sola moved apartments soon. By this time, Baby One was already on the scene. Lolu seemed to avoid the baby and Gbenga didn't seem too excited to be a father. Lolu's mum had come around too and didn't seem too thrilled that Gbenga and Sola had a baby.

 

Gbenga and Lolu told Sola one Friday evening that their new apartment was too far from Lolu's place of work so he would move to a friend's place during the week and come back to their place on weekends. That was the last time Sola set eyes on Lolu. Lolu and his mother have been going about claiming that Sola is responsible for Lolu's misfortunes. The last contact she had with him was over the phone. He currently does not pick her calls and she has stopped calling, anyway.

 

There is a lot of details I can't share here without saying too much. Gbenga is currently living with Lolu's mother and does not communicate with Sola or their children. He claims Sola has been attacking him spiritually. He says he's been told by men of God in different places that Sola is after his life and stepping foot in Abuja will bring him under her influence.

 

Sola is still living in Abuja, raising their kids and learning to be a godly woman. She is trusting God to remove the veil covering Gbenga's eyes and to restore their marriage.

 

Please feel free to share suggestions, learning points and prayers. Insults are NOT welcome. Enjoy the rest of the day.

A COMMITTED MAN

Good morning.

One of my colleagues ordered a food item for his kids. I told him that we can now really be friends. I said I like men who pay attention to the homefront.

 

He then began to tell me more about him. According to him, he doesn't joke with his home. If he fails at home, there is no amount of 'away success' that can substitute. I don't totally agree with the submission but I get what he's driving at.

 

He said that when he met his wife, she said it will be hard for them to live together because of his mannerisms. However, he said he hardly has conflicts with his wife. I asked him if it was because of what she told him when they met and he answered that it was partly so. He said his wife took her time to study him and has learnt to avoid flash points.

 

He said he doesn't take his "gra gra" home. He says he knows he can't afford to fail at home so he gives the homefront all it requires. What struck me the most is that this man is not a 'spiri jim jim'. He is someone you'll believe will be a terror at home.

 

So, my question today is this - Why are some of our Christian brothers terrors at home meanwhile many of the "non-Christian" men strive to be wonderful family men? Where are we missing it?

 

Enjoy your day.

Pregnancy and You - Tips for expecting men

Good morning people. How are you doing?

This post is primarily for men whose wives are expecting. Others are welcome to participate in the discussion.

So, Madam has delivered the big news - I'M PREGNANT (or WE'RE PREGNANT, something that still stuns me, lol). She has cooked a fantastic dinner and pulled all stops to make the big announcement! Believe me sir, your response to this news is very crucial to how your expecting time will go.

Tip#1 - No matter what you say, please don't make the pregnancy not seem like a big deal. Even if you weren't planning for the baby, your first response shouldn't be something that blames HER for getting pregnant. Your response in this fine moment will go a long way in determining how easy or difficult the pregnancy will go.

 

As the days go by, you need to show your commitment by learning as much as you can about pregnancy. Read books, check out the links she sends to you (lol) and generally get comfortable with pregnancy talk. It's interesting to find a man, who has had 9 months notice, who is CLUELESS about how to care for a baby. That communicates a lack of commitment more than anything else in the world. My dear brothers, please read up; you'll even learn some fun things along the way.

 

Attending ante-natal classes and doctor's appointments with your pregnant wife communicates commitment in ways I can't explain. You're telling her - we're in this together. Also, you have the opportunity to ask questions from the doctor.

 

Please don't place undue pressure on her with unreasonable demands. There'll be some days when she won't have enough energy to clean the house. You need to watch what you say about her weight, her looks, her housekeeping skills etc. The worst thing I've ever heard a husband say to his pregnant wife is "You're not the first woman to be pregnant". That's a HUGE withdrawal from her love bank and at a wrong time! It is insensitive, please.

 

I'm not sure how to communicate this deeply but I'll try. During this period, she needs A LOT of emotional support from you (Ideally, she should get emotional support from you normally). BE THERE for her. Cuddle her, talk to her, give her backrubs at night, call her during the day just to say "hi", sing to her, woo her, dance with her. If the pregnancy is not a difficult one and the doctor clears you both, make love when she feels up to it. I personally think God had this period in mind when He asked husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. You'll need to put aside your own needs to minister to her. This period is one of the times when you need to give her special attention. You also need to be careful of choking her with too much attention, though.

 

Reassure her of your love and commitment to your union. Annoyingly, a good number of men do the exact opposite during this period. Their actions communicate that they'll rather spend their time and resources on other ventures. This is not what God had in mind when he brought that fantastic woman to build a life with you. If you're neglecting your wife during this period that she needs you the most, be rest assured that God will raise help for her and she'll be okay. However, you MAY be digging the grave of your marriage with your own attitude...

 

There is a wealth of information online that can guide you IF you're interested. This is not the time to start looking for someone/something to assist your wife in her wifely duties. This is the time to prove that you meant what you said when you exchanged vows.

 

If you've slipped in one or more areas, there is still hope. Repent and ask the Lord to help you. Go home to your wife, seek her forgiveness and work things out. Take your place and don't open the door for the enemy to take advantage. If the woman that's pregnant for you isn't your wife, you need to first repent of fornication/adultery. You'll also need to apply these tips cautiously.

 

Enjoy your day.

Random Musings (FOR WIVES)

Hello everyone. Thanks for your attention, brothers, lol.

 

Today's musings are primarily for wives but I believe husbands and unmarried people can pick a few things from them.

I was talking with one of my colleagues and I asked after his baby. I had heard a colleague call the baby by the official nickname and the father had given an explanation on why the nickname didn't apply in their own case. I wasn't really paying attention so I didn't get the explanation.

 

When I asked after the baby, I intentionally used the official explanation and he was BEAMING as he explained to me that his wife already uses the baby's official nickname for him (the dad) so she came up with a new nickname for the baby. As he was talking about NICKNAMES (of all things), his smile was so bright. Who knew something like not insisting on the official nickname of your baby could win a man's heart like that...Nickname! Ah.

Anyway, my sisters, I said I should share my insights with you as I pray for a divine revelation of the nickname that will melt my beloved's heart like that...

 

My second musing has to do with some attitudes I've seen women exhibit that will NOT melt but harden their husbands' hearts. I've been priviledged to buy things for some women and I've realised that only few women understand the power of gratitude (I have only recently joined the ranks of those few women, lol). A man goes out of his way to buy you mangoes and your first comment is that they are not very ripe. And you're still wondering why he doesn't buy you anything. Let me give you a clue - your response to his last attempt put him off. That's why! You know I'm not one to pamper a man's ego but trust me, I won't massage a woman's own either. We have some entitled women who 1) don't express gratitude for acts of kindness 2) say "thank you", then go on to belittle the efforts put into the acts of kindness

 

We need to cultivate the attitude of gratitude. For starters, I'll like to appreciate everyone that takes time to read, like and comment on my posts. I appreciate you all. I hope we'll all look for opportunities to express gratitude today.

 

Enjoy your day.

TREAT THEM FAIRLY

I came across my former landlord's driver this morning.

Of course, we gisted. I learnt that months after we moved out, the flat we left is still vacant. We took time to clean and mop the house and leave it in great shape so I know it isn't in a state of disrepair. The problem appears to be the price they've set the rent at - IT IS TOO HIGH FOR SUCH A REMOTE LOCATION.

I felt it was too expensive when we moved in but insisting on my own way would have strained my marriage. Immediately the opportunity for cost-cutting came, the house was my first suggestion, lol.

Dear Lagos Landlord/Landlady, your houses are generally too expensive! The people that don't mind paying your unending fees are mainly the same ones your Oba threatened to throw in the Lagoon...So, after paying your exorbitant house rent, you also want to disenfranchise them? Think deeply and critically before you decide which side you want to take in this matter ooo... #‎JustSaying

 

As we continued the gist, the driver started complaining bitterly about how stingy the landlord is. He talked about how he was under-paid and over-utilized. He talked about how his boss once sent him to withdraw 10 million Naira and he delivered faithfully. He also talked about how he asked his boss for assistance in order to pay his child's school fees and was told to go and borrow from his church. I believe that is the main issue for now, lol. All these were in response to my "How are my former landlord and his family doing?" ooo.

I know someone will say that if he is that bitter, he should resign his job. That's a fair statement. I'm just wondering if I want to be in my former landlord's shoes now - being driven around the treacherous Lagos roads by someone who is harbouring bitterness against me...

 

I kept trying to tell the driver to see God in his current situation. I asked him if the school fees had been paid and he said "yes". He is still bitter and angry. I will continue to pray for all of them. I just thought I should point out to everyone to check the way we relate with our staff and subordinates. The world we live in requires it; God's word demands it.

"Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal, knowing ye also have a Master in heaven" (Colossians 4:1)

 

"And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him" (Ephesians 6:9)

 

Enjoy your day.

KILL THAT DESIRE

To whom it may concern:

 

I believe in allowing women express themselves but I am not a feminist. I believe in gender equality. I agree with God on how a successful marriage should be - a loving husband/father who lovingly but firmly leads his submissive wife and children in the way of the Lord.

I believe wives need to learn from Christ that equality with their husbands is not something to be held on to. I believe wives need to learn to let their husbands lead. I am still wondering who came up with the idea of women being "the neck" or "the heart" or some other body part. It is NOT from the Bible. The wife's role is supportive. Every attempt to exercise overt/covert control is a deed of the flesh. You need to put that desire to dominate your husband to death; don't let it grow. Let God establish you in your home.

 

God is the Author of marriage. It is in your best interest to do marriage following God's principles. Anything to the contrary is walking in the flesh. Remember

 

"he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life" Galatians 6:8

You Are The Parent

Hello everyone. There is this cartoon/rhyme on TV that I've been thinking about for a while now. It's titled "Five Little Monkeys".

In a nutshell, it's about 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, falling down and hurting themselves. What gets to me is that all Mummy does about it is to wait for each little monkey to fall and hurt themselves then she is quick to use her airtime to call the doctor, spend whatever she has to spend to pay the doctor for his efforts and go limb till another monkey hurts itself. Please don't even get me started on the loud silence about "Daddy" (except he is dead).

 

Unfortunately, it's not only the Mummy (and absent Daddy) of the Five Little Monkeys that is defaulting in her role as a parent. I understand the need to make "ends meet". However, I don't believe we should sacrifice our children's safety and well-being on the altar of material and financial prosperity, though.

Someone noted that sometimes, parents prefer to chat and ping than to spend time with their kids. Some of us have out-sourced our parenting roles to the TV! I'll like to talk a bit about hiring helps as this is a trending topic.

 

- First, you need to confirm if this is the best option for your family. If you can find any other workable arrangement, please explore those options instead.

 

- If you have to hire a help, then please exercise due dilligence in verifying and getting credible guarantors for such helps. Please don't compromise quality on the altar of price. Be VERY sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in this crucial assignment. If either you or your spouse doesn't feel comfortable in your spirits, hold on. Fast and pray, make sure you are both in agreement before you proceed. If you're a single parent, still fast and pray. Involve a trusted family member or friend in the process.

 

- Please try to maintain a good rapport with your neighbours, as much as is humanly possible. They may very well be your last line of defence in the evil day. Don't be like the people of Laish that had no one to help them in the day of trouble. Be kind to those not in your 'class' - your driver, your gateman, the lady who owns a shop in your neighbourhood, the stay-at-home mum, artisans etc. Many times, these people are around to keep watch when you are not around and may be the ones to help you in the evil day. I know that "safety is of the Lord" still God can use anyone and anything to help you in the day of trouble.

 

- Be kind in your dealing with your househelp. Remember that you are leaving your child(ren) in their care for a sizeable period of the day. Treat them as human beings who deserve care. Do something nice for them once in a while that is outside their pay package. Extend the love of Christ to them. You could very well be the only true believer they'll ever know. While this does not guarantee that they'll be good helps; you'll be able to stand before God with a clear conscience as it pertains to their matter.

 

- If you keep valuables at home, please get a safe or something really secure to keep them. You should also keep your valuable documents in a safe place.

 

- Realise that there's a reason why they are called "HELPS". They are not there to take over your parental duty but to HELP. Be careful about what roles you assign to them and be careful not to become TOTALLY dependent on them. I know "me-time" and "bonding time" with your partner are essential but please maintain a balance.

 

- Teach your kids to respect your helps. I heard of a 4 year old boy who told his uncle's help to wash his (the 4 year old boy) plate because it is the job she is being paid to do. I heard of another boy that slapped the househelp and his parents did NOTHING about it. If you're raising your kids this way, YOU are destroying their future.

 

I have a special appeal to men. Please get involved in the upbringing of your children. Thankfully, your surname is their surname. Your role does not end in providing the sperm(s) to fertilize the egg(s) that produced the child(ren). Please don't leave it all to your wife/baby's mother. Many of us agree that we are Abraham's seed and heirs according to the promise. This is what God said about Abraham - " Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him." (Genesis 18: 18-19). Please play your part in bringing up your kids, THANKS.

 

I pray for the Orekoya family. I pray that light will shine at the end of the tunnel. I pray for the family that lost their valuables, may God take them to greater and higher heights. I also pray that the perpetuators of this evil will be brought to book and that the boys will come back home unharmed, in Jesus' Name.

How NOT To Be Detribalised

I don't get SOME people.

You loudly supported those that threatened to throw those that vote for your 'enemy' in the #Lagoon (forgetting that God delivered Moses from being swallowed by the river at birth and that Pharaoh, the enemy, was also consumed by the waters).

 

Now your favoured candidate has 'won' (hopefully fair and square) and you're there threatening to evict your Igbo tenants. Haba! Diaris God ooo. Why can't you fear God? Later, you'll be claiming to be a well-informed, detribalised Nigerian. Kontiniu!

 

I remember one unforgettable sermon by Pastor Tunde Bakare. He said many Yoruba people are very backward in their thinking. He gave the example of when a very respected legal practitioner was given the title of "Bamofin" (A well versed lawyer) of the Oyo Empire. Pastor Bakare asked (and I concur) "Which Oyo Empire"? Is it the one that was conquered in If you're still thinking about "our land" and "their land", you can stop deceiving yourself about being detribalised or being a patriot. With all due respect, you are an ethnic lord/madam... You need to allow Jesus fix it!

 

In a related development, congratulations to everyone that won elections today. Please be magnaminous in victory; make efforts to build bridges and win over your opponents and their supporters with love. Don't be like some that choose to punish their opponents and their supporters with bad roads, tolls, increased taxes etc.

 

To everyone that didn't make it this time, please don't give in. If you have evidence of electoral malpractices, please make good use of the Election Tribunals all over the federation. Please do not engage in or incite your supporters to violence. Can I make a personal request? Please don't cross-carpet to the ruling party. The beauty of a democracy is the availability of credible and sensible opposition.

 

As #Nigeria2015 comes to a close, I commend everyone that has prayerfully and physically supported us in having GENERALLY peaceful elections. May the Lord bless us all and prosper the works of our hands.

 

GOD BLESS THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

Tender An Unreserved Apology

Good day people. How are you doing?

 

It's interesting to learn how autocratic some of us are. I find it interesting that such people expect others to stop feeling hurt immediately just because we tendered a half-hearted apology (filled with self-justification) YET we expect to be given the space to air our feelings if we are the aggrieved party. It still boils down to #Empathy...

 

When you hurt a loved one, you ought to apologize without trying to justify your actions. That thing you called an apology is probably similar to what a defense attorney would present in court - absolutely no admission of guilt. YOU are tearing vital relationships apart with such an attitude.

 

Yesterday, I realised as I was arguing with a client that tendering an unreserved apology to him would take nothing from my person and win him over. We had been at loggerheads for a while. I literally saw him melt.

 

Do your relationship a favour, tender an unreserved apology today and watch tensions dissolve.

EMPATHY

Good day everyone.

I'll like to talk about empathy today. Empathy is the ability to share another's emotions and feelings. Though the word "empathy" does not appear in the scriptures, it's synonyms such as compassion, kindness do.

1 Peter 3:8

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble

 

The closest synonym to "Empathy" is compassion, in my opinion. Our words, as believers, ought to build up and not tear down.

 

"Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you. Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped."

Isaiah 35:3-5

 

I'm ashamed to say that believers are amongst the worst people that people dealing with challenges can turn to these days. We are too quick to pronounce judgments and give verdicts. This ought not to be so amongst us. Our words ought to give life to those hearing us (Proverbs 12:18)

 

I put up a post about husbands that don't make love to their wives. The responses from some men and woman are shocking. The general feedback is that it is not possible for men to have low libidos. Unfortunately, that is not true. There are truly men like that. Such men are not likely to seek help because society refuses to recognize them. I got feedback from one wife that she has moved all her things away and is about to move her person away. I can imagine the kind of verdicts that have been passed on her and her husband by those they may have sought counsel from in the past. Please hang in there, sister. Help is on the way.

 

Brethren, I beseech you by the mercies of God; watch your words and actions towards those that are hurting (and to people in general). They are in the valley of decision. Though they are responsible and accountable for their ultimate decision, Jesus says "There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting!" (Luke 17:1)

Be the change you want to see

Good day people.

I love the sitcom "Everybody Hates Chris" by Chris Tucker. My husband and I used to watch it a lot before a little girl came along and changed our choice, lol.

Anyway, at some point, Chris decided to take his destiny into his own hands. According to him, he was tired of being pushed around. So, he was going to contest and (hopefully) become class president (Third Grade or so). His opponent was his arch-enemy, Caruso. Caruso threw in every dirty trick he could to win. In the speech that changed the tides, Chris made promises that excited his peers and eventually was elected as Class President.

After the euphoria of becoming Class President wore out, his peers began to ask him to deliver on his promises. That was when Chris realised that his title as Class President was basically ceremonial and that he had no powers to deliver on his promises. He was also still experiencing the same troubles that he had which drove him to run for Class Presidency. I won't tell you how Chris resolved his problems; you can actually watch the show on Youtube, lol.

Anyway, the Nigerian situation reminds me of those episodes. When the euphoria of "change" has worn out and the rubber hits the road, the electorate will expect delivery from the elected officials. I hope the elected officials realise that it's not the one that got registered to write an examination that rejoices but the one that passes the exam. I hope the electorate did not take all the campaign to heart; some of the promises are not achievable under the present arrangement. Some of the promises also contradict one another, lol.

 

Frankly, Nigeria will NOT experience meaningful change if the people do not change their mindsets. There is just so much the government can do. The FG will not hold your hand, Mr Wife Batterer, and help you stop beating your wife. They won't help you zip your mouth, Mrs Nag. They won't remove the ink in your pen, Mr. Pen Thief.

Contribute your own quota to nation-building. Be the change you want to see.

Lest Your Prayers Be Hindered

Good day people. How are you doing? I trust that all is well.
I'll like to take a look at 1 Peter 3: 1-7, the oft quoted marriage scripture. I'll look at the ones in Colossians and Ephesians later, by God's grace.
I find it interesting (initially I thought it annoying but the way it was balanced calmed me down, lol) that there are six verses of the seven that address wives and that the wives are addressed first. I thought that since the husband is the head of the home, he should be the first to be addressed...I'm adding that to the list of questions I'll like to ask God. If you've received some rhema along those lines, please feel free to share (Please don't tell me that's why women are the 'neck' or any other weird body part, please...:D).
Verse 1 starts with "The same goes for you, wives" (The Message translation). That obviously ties whatever instruction wives are about to receive to whatever was said in 1 Peter 2: 21-25. The key for me in those verses is the part that says "This is the kind of life you've been invited to, the kind of life Christ lived". I believe 1 Peter 3: 1-6 just goes on to explain what living the Christ-like life should look like to a wife with respect to her relationship with her husband.
Wives are admonished to be good wives to their husbands; do him good. I believe that should include pointing out his errors as gently as you can too and praying for him as frequently as you can. I realise that a lot of women spend more time praying for their husbands than themselves. I don't understand why this should be so. Why can't you extend EVERY prayer point to your husband, yourself and your kids? I'll say the same about opportunities. I know some women look out more for their husband than themselves when it comes to business and career opportunities, I don't understand why ma...The Proverbs 31 woman had her own money na, so what are we saying?

Unfortunately, some women are married to men who are indifferent to God's word. Such men are not believers so I wonder why some CHRISTIAN men (and their enablers) hold on to this verse to talk about their wives' conduct captivating them...If you are a Christian man, your wife shouldn't be needing to captivate you. The captivation there is to turn the hearts of the unbelieving men, first and foremost, towards God. Then they should comply with verse 7.

If you are a Christian husband, please read verse 7 very slowly and carefully and leave the verse addressed to the wives of unbelieving men. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Dear wife, while I agree that is good to look good and fashionable, it is your inner disposition that counts. Some 'virtuous' women are also hell-bound as the bitterness and witchcraft in their hearts is at par with that of Queen Jezebel. I got this from an article I read last week...Jezebel was a happily married witch that 'kept' her marriage till the very end...That you're "happily married" is not always proof that your heart is always perfect towards God...Please take time to cultivate the gentle and gracious kind of inner beauty that God delights in. May the Lord help us sisters.

Wives, please be loyal to your godly husbands. Some wives sabotage their husbands spiritually, mentally, physically, financially and every "...ally" possible, lol due to his real/perceived shortcomings. If you are one of such wives, this is a call to repentance. Please feel free to send me a message so we can straighten things out by God's grace. If your husband is involved in a crime or is sinning in any way, you will be guilty by association if you aid and abet him. You can also send a message, if you think or know you are in that situation.

We are given the example of Sarah who addressed Abraham as "MY DEAR HUSBAND". Some people have assumed that because KJV used "lord", it is okay for men to lord it over their wives. Verse 7 of this scripture is the OPPOSITE of that idea! And if you read about Abraham and Sarah in Genesis, you'll find out that Sarah was not a mousy, subjugated woman whose husband told her what time to go to bed just like a child. She had a voice in the marriage. Whether she used her voice for good or bad is another issue altogether but believe me, she had a voice. At some point, God told Abraham to listen to what his wife, Sarah, told him.  We are told we'll be true daughters of Sarah if we do the same, UNANXIOUS and UNINTIMIDATED! That doesn't sound like a woman who is scared of her own shadow to me. What do you think?

Finally, we are in Verse 7, yaay!
Dear Christian husband, the following are God's requirements from you with respect to your marriage:
Be a good husband to your wife. Protect her, groom her, nurture her, invest in her growth. Spend time to ask God how to be a good husband TO YOUR OWN WIFE! Don't be telling her that it is natural for men to cheat or making her responsible for keeping you on the straight and narrow road. That's the Holy Spirit's job and if you cooperate with Him, He'll lead you and your life will turn out right sir.

Honor your wife sir. It's not your job to keep her in check or to control her. That's the Holy Spirit's job, if she cooperates with Him. Belittling her, sabotaging her, exposing her to ridicule from your friends and family members, asking her to kneel down and raise up her hands when she flouts your (sick) orders, asking her to kneel down to beg you etc are not only silly and childish, they are proof that you don't honor your wife. I have stronger words I could have used but I don't see why I need to...
Husband sir, delight in your wife. Find pleasure in her. This is not a suggestion, sir, it is a divine instruction. She left all to follow you, sir.

Erm Sister Wife, the Bible tells us that you lack some of your husband's advantages. Forget all those lies from the pits of hell about God prefering women to men; they are being propagated by the same people that claim that wives are the neck to encourage you to keep working as the Assistant Holy Spirit. There are physiological differences between men and women that gives men some advantages. Thankfully, the scriptures quickly balance it by telling us that in the new life of God's grace, husbands and wives are EQUALS. See why you shouldn't be lording it over your wife?

Finally, husbands are admonished to treat their wives as equals so that THEIR PRAYERS DON'T RUN AGROUND (LEST THEIR PRAYERS BE HINDERED).
Lord Husband, your prayers are being hindered and the issue is not a spirit husband or wife, it is because of the way you're treating your wife sir. Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord (Acts 3:19, NIV)

She Does Not Eat The Bread Of Idleness

“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31: 27

Once again, someone has asked me for more information about myself. I will oblige you this time BECAUSE IT TIES INTO WHAT I WAS GOING TO WRITE ABOUT ANYWAY. I’ll let you know, though, that I am at liberty to reveal what I wish to reveal about myself when I want to. I also realise that you have the right to choose your friends, real or virtual. If you need more information than I’m willing to divulge, please use whatever buttons Facebook has given you to protect your privacy…

Now to the real gist of the post…I grew up in a family with strong women. I have/had aunts, cousins and other female relatives who went through terrible pains in the name of marriage. I decided not to get married because I didn’t believe I could stand the crap that these wonderful women endured in the name of marriage. Eventually, though, a young man swept me off my feet and I almost made him my ‘god’. Thankfully, he is a firm believer in women empowerment because I really would have considered dropping it all and staying in ‘utopia’ with him 9Hint: I’m not looking for another man to ‘sweep’ me off my feet). I’m back on earth now because my ‘knight in shining armor’ has some dents in the said armor. The focus of this post is not marriage so I’ll hurry to my point.

These strong women had to deal with all sorts of crap from the men they married. We can debate till we’re blue in the face on whether they deserved it or not because they 1) snatched someone’s boyfriend, 2) saw the traits yet went ahead to marry the dude or 30 whatever else tickles your fancy…One thing I learnt from these women that I hope to pass on to my child is the fact that they didn’t let the crap their husbands were dishing out keep them down. They still went on to make and are still making successes of their lives.

I can’t deal with the way some women’s life ambition is to get married and have kids. I have no qualms with having a family and looking out for the well-being of the family (that’s the first part of the verse I quoted). What I have issues with is how some women hand over their financial future to a man, who at his very best, is still a man. Then there are those sisters/mothers that won’t stop pestering their married brothers/sons. With all due respect, you’re causing strains in your brother/son’s marriage. In the name of all that you hold dear, please get a life. I don’t mean to disrespect you; it’s just that your conduct leaves a lot to be desired and someone needs to tell you. Please, get past whatever hurt, disappointment or whatever and make something enviable out of your life. I’m sorry you had to/have to deal with crap; God will see you through as you prayerfully endure. While you’re praying for a change in your situation, please can you get busy? Many, if not all, of the heroines in the Bible had to deal with crap in their family lives yet they went on to give us wonderful role models to look up to. Sarrah had no kid; Rebekkah had no kids and married to a passive man who was possibly an over-pampered dude. Leah was in a loveless marriage, Rachel had to contend with her blood sister for her husband. We have no clue what Lappidoth was up to yet Deborah judged Israel and together with Jael and Barak led Israel to a victory that resulted in 40 years of peace. Please feel free to add your favorite heroine’s story to the mix.

I trust that there are men who give their wives as much as they can; they sacrifice for their families. I salute you sirs. However, I have an issue with you…I hope you’re not enabling your wife or any of your female relatives to eat the bread of idleness. I hope you haven’t become their “Alpha and Omega”. If that’s the case, please sir, repent and encourage her to get busy…She needs some empowerment.

Enjoy the day and be the change you’re expecting…

When The People Asked For “Change” (Part 1)

Good day people.

The outcome of the Nigerian elections is still weighing on my mind. I have to admit that I don’t feel as jubilant as many of the ‘Change’ agents. I sincerely hope that my misgivings are immaterial.

Today, I have to think of a period in the history of Israel when the people asked for a “change”. The story is found in 1 Kings 8. Everyone agreed that Samuel was a great judge. However, it got to a point where Samuel became old and had to appoint new judges. I am not sure Samuel consulted with God before making his sons judges. There is no record of him consulting God on the matter.

Samuel’s sons were corrupt, they took bribes and they perverted justices. They were oppressing the people so the people cried to Samuel and asked him to give them a king like other nations. Their request displeased Samuel but thankfully, he had enough sense to pray unto the Lord about the matter. God told him to listen to the voice of the people and give them what they asked for. However, that was not ALL God told Samuel about the request. He told them that they (the people) had rejected Him – the Lord. I thought the people were rejecting obviously corrupt leaders…Uhmmm

God asked Samuel to tell the people the manner of king they’ll get –

·         He will take your sons, and appoint them for himself, for his chariots, and to be his horsemen ; and some shall run before his chariots. And he will appoint him captains over thousands, and captains over fifties ; and will set them to ear his ground, and to reap his harvest, and to make his instruments of war, and instruments of his chariots.

·         And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be bakers.

·         And he will take your fields, and your vineyards, and your oliveyards, even the best of them, and give them to his servants.

·         And he will take the tenth of your seed, and of your vineyards, and give to his officers, and to his servants.

·         And he will take your menservants, and your maidservants, and your goodliest young men, and your asses, and put them to his work.

·         He will take the tenth of your sheep : and ye shall be his servants.

·         And ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shall have chosen you ; and the Lord will not hear you in that day.

In spite of the message, the people insisted that they wanted a king. Samuel went on to anoint a king – Saul. Saul started well but he did not end well. He was so conscious of the ‘people’ that ‘voted’ him in. The will of the people is not ALWAYS the voice of God. We need to be careful what we ask for; we may just get it.

I pray that in our case, we will not have need to cry out because of the “change” we have chosen. May we clap, dance and party harder than we’ve done now in 2019. We will look to God AND hold our leaders accountable for each campaign promise. I’ll share 4 pictures with the promises the General made during the campaigns. I’ll share more pictures intermittently. I hope we’ll use social media to sustain the “change” we agitated for. It's really up to us to decide if this will be positive change or not...

Happy New Month in the Season of "Change"

Happy new month people.

We watched and prayed; the "change" agents have their way even as the "Transformation" agents have had their say in a keenly contested race. The Gentleman of Otuoke has congratulated the General of Daura."Change" is here. The true heroes are the Nigerian people who voted and monitored their votes.

My number 1 villain is Elder Orubebe who had a show of shame before the whole world, I hope appropriate disciplinary actions will be taken against him.

 Professor Attahiru Jega, along with his team at the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) and the erudite scholars who served as Collation Officers (except the Drama King who delivered the infamous results from Rivers State, written under "special" circumstances) did us proud. Sure, there were irregularities before, during and after the elections. I hope the aggrieved parties will make use of the Election Tribunal (Hint: Elder Orubebe, that's where the drama you acted out yesterday belongs...)

We trust God that there will be no post-election violence. The parties need to, for now, focus on the gubernatorial and State House of Assembly elections. Get busy, give us memorable gingles and interesting food for thought and discussion. Stimulate our brain cells so that no one will accuse us of being "brain dead", lol.

It is disheartening that not much attention was paid to the National Assembly elections. In my opinion, that's where the true change is required. I wish the General of Daura and his team all the best as they navigate the murky waters with whatever team the people give them in the National Assembly. I will personally compile the list of their campaign promises and ask them periodically. I just found a website that hopefully will help us track...http://www.tracka.ng/project/buhari. I will keep a personal list, though....

The way I see it, nothing will change if the people put in all these efforts then go to sleep. It's time to keep your leaders accountable. Bask in the euphoria of bringing in the "Change" agents in a KEENLY CONTESTED race (For those that missed my emphasis, it was not a "Landslide" victory), pop champagne, party, PLEASE be magnanimous in victory and try to build bridges THEN ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES. The work has just begun; the burden of performance is now on you...

I pray that the Gentleman of Otuoke will not return to wherever he is returning to (hopefully not prison, as speculated by his wife) and just fade into oblivion. Sir, I'm calling on you and your team to provide a formidable opposition to the "Change" agents. Our democracy remained weak so far because of all the cross-carpeting, forming 'governments of alliance" etc. I'm not saying that you become a pain in the behind, like some in the "Change" party were as members of the opposition. I'm saying that you and your team should critically review and expose the flaws in every policy that the "Change" agents propose. Give us interesting topics of discussion. Let's begin to move away from the politics of stomach infrastructure to ideas-based politics.

The future remains bright for us all. However, remember that eternal vigilance is the price we have to pay for freedom. I congratulate the President-elect and his team for daring to try and to succeed after many failed attempts. I salute the incumbent President for his achievements, for allowing free and fair elections and for averting bloodshed by congratulating the General even before the results have been formally announced.

Long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria!