Marriage Matters Part 2- Lessons from Esther

Good day. How are you doing?

I need to apologize again upfront. I think this series will have a part 3 and possibly a Part 4. As I studied more about Esther as a married woman, I realised that the lessons to learn from her cannot be exhausted in one brief post.

 

I’ll start off with Ahasuerus. I think it’s important to know the man in order to appreciate Esther’s dealings with him.

He had dethroned his first wife in anger. I find it interesting that until his anger subsided, he didn’t remember that he sent his wife away. If I was to counsel him, I’ll probably have asked him to remain unmarried.

I’ll have expected him when getting married again to, at least, review his failed marriage. However, he followed the counsel of HIS PERSONAL ATTENDANTS. Please note that his first wife was dethroned based on the counsel of “wise men who understood the times”. I hope you’re seeing a pattern here? It’ll be helpful to remember this when learning from Esther.

I’ve read an article where Esther was criticised for marrying one that was not a believer. I have some misgivings about that position. I didn’t read about how Esther doing all she could to be picked for this king’s beauty pageant. I suspect she didn’t have much of a say. Her ‘crime’ was that she was beautiful. For as long as the scouts found them beautiful, they didn’t really have a choice. Someone can say that she could have refused to go. I believe that Esther’s purpose was tied to participating in that pageant. Please feel free to share your views on whether or not Esther should have refused to participate in the ‘pageant’.

Anyway, Esther participated in the pageant. I think the difference between Esther and Vashti began to show in the way she dealt with being placed in Hegai’s care. She pleased Hegai. She was wise enough to realise that Hegai could help her in the situation she was in. Let’s assume she was taken against her will to participate in the pageant (as I believe), she could have spent the time being bitter and resentful. I feel led to talk about this point. Perhaps you’ve found yourself married to someone you didn’t quite choose or chose based on false impressions. Does that mean the marriage should be annulled? I’ll say I think not. Why?

“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband… And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.” (1 Corinthians 7: 10, 13)

I believe you need to let God lead you on how to work things out. Esther could have spent the time plotting how to escape and maybe assassinated the king when she had the opportunity. I suspect Vashti would have done that, lol. Instead, Esther spent the time getting to know more about what to ask for from Hegai. Was that not wise? Hegai had served the king for a much longer period than Esther had known the king. Of course, Esther also had the favour of God on her side. I wonder if God’s favour alone would have got her chosen or if taking Hegai’s advice also had something to do with it. Please share your views on that.

Please remember the verses below, I’ll still make reference to them later.

“Now the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favour and approval more than any of the other virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti. And the king gave a great banquet, Esther’s banquet, for all his nobles and officials. He proclaimed a holiday throughout the provinces and distributed gifts with royal liberality. ” Esther 2: 17-18

I noted that Esther had a Mordecai in her life whose advice she still held on to after she got married. Mordecai had watched her grow and was essentially her mentor. I believe having godly mentors help a great deal, though they shouldn’t take the place of God in our lives. You can benefit from the insight they’ll provide about you. I could write about your “blind side” but it’ll only make the post lengthier, lol. Esther did not reveal her nationality as instructed by Mordecai. I am itching to talk about finding your own Mordecai but I’ll resist temptation, lol.

Someone came across this article as I was writing and she asked me how much marital experience I have to justify writing these posts. The answer I gave her is what I’ll conclude this part with – We are learning from ESTHER, not my personal experience. If I can buttress any of the points with my personal experience, I will possibly share. However, I’ll like to stay with ESTHER more than Hephzibah.

So, we are all learning from Esther, okay?

I hope to wrap this up by Part 4. Please forgive me for breaking the posts up in parts.

I’ll love to hear from you so please feel free to leave me a comment here or on the blog.