Good day.
I came across a post on a Facebook group I belong to that asked a 'Submission' related question. The comments are quite insightful. One of the comments set meon the path that produced this article. It's an awesome group, strictly for married women. Please let me know if you, a married woman, will like to join the group. (Sorry, I didn't make the rules, lol).
In my interactions with married women, I have discovered that there is this frustration about the responsibility of success that is laid disproportionately on the woman. The most "annoying" scriptures used to justify this weird contraption are "Every wise woman builds her home" and the Submission scriptures. I've even seen a post where 'He that findeth a wife obtains favour from the Lord..." has been used to justify why the woman is MORE responsible than the man for a successful marriage #PlainWickedness
This is my conclusion based on my study of the scriptures - A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE IS BUILT BY A MAN AND A WOMAN WHO ALLOW GOD DIRECT EACH OF THEIR STEPS. THE WOMAN IS NOT MORE RESPONSIBLE THAN THE MAN; NEITHER IS THE MAN MORE RESPONSIBLE THAN THE WOMAN. BOTH OF THEM NEED TO SHOW UP FOR THE MARRIAGE TO BE SUCCESSFUL.
In defiance to the disproportionate allocation of responsibility, there has arisen a movement that seeks to 'restore' dignity to the married woman. Usually, when the man is 'cooperating', the attributes of women who subscribe to this movement are masked. They also do what they believe they have to do. In their minds, the partnership is equal. The attributes begin to show up when the man is not 'cooperating'. In my opinion, the poster child for this movement is Vashti.
Vashti was married to an erratic man called Ahasuerus. We can find Vashti's story in Esther 1. I'll make references to other parts of the Book of Esther in this long article (I apologize in advance). I believe that Vashti and Ahasuerus had outstanding issues before he made that feast. I came to the conclusion because of the word ALSO in verse 9. Is there a reason why Vashti was having her own separate party when her husband was having his? Did she discuss her own women's party with her husband? I can imagine her answering that question with her own question 'Did he discuss with me before throwing his own party?'
Apparently, the king wanted her to join his party so he could show off her beauty. Was that the wisest thing he could have done? I think not. However, Vashti REFUSED to obey the King's very public COMMANDMENT. Why? Some have speculated that she didn't want to be the only woman in the midst of drunken men who could have easily raped her. Uhmmmm. That doesn't make sense to me. How would a drunk man rape the QUEEN in the presence of the KING and his guards? Assuming that was even true, why did Vashti not move her own party to the king's own? I believe Vashti did not honour the king's COMMANDMENT because she wanted him to know that she had a 'life' of her own and that she was her own person with human dignity etc. We all know how that worked out for her.
She forgot that she was the queen only because she was MARRIED to the king. Also, she was having her party in HIS house, not hers. Am I saying that a married woman does not have the right to dignity or her own choices? No, I'm not. All I'm saying is that when you choose to get married, you are actually giving up some of your rights and privileges for the greater good of your marriage. I believe that applies to both men and women, though this post is directed at the womenfolk. You actually have a voice; I'll recommend that you use that voice to glorify God and not the flesh in your home.
I find it a bit annoying that the first recorded speech of the woman was when she was conversing with the devil and her first recorded suggestion to her husband led to the fall of man. Sisters, it is absolutely crucial that we give our ears and tongues to God so we can be the wonderful helpmeets God created us to be. This does not, in anyway, absolve the man of his responsibility of hearing God and leading his home, as God intended.
Ahasuerus was not a good example of a godly husband. Vashti tried to control his real and perceived excesses with fleshly measures and her royal estate was given to another. I'll continue with lessons from Esther on how to deal with an erratic husband in Part 2 of this lesson.
Enjoy your day.
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